tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49261259960490692792024-03-13T09:35:32.417-07:00Home with Little Jack: A Blog About Being a Stay-At-Home DadA Blog About Being a Stay-At-Home DadJack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-22298989094333800652011-10-11T10:57:00.000-07:002011-10-11T13:41:32.083-07:00Baby's First Groove<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
How come when we talk about baby milestones, we talk about their first smile, crawl, steps, words, and poop in the potty—but I haven’t heard much about baby’s first dance?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why not?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dancing is ingrained deep in our psyche. Even if we’re completely inept and uncoordinated, some particularly hoping music will get even the most reluctant person tapping a toe, moving their head, or clapping their hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes we don’t even know it, driving along and some particularly funkilicious tune comes on the radio or ipod or 8-track tape or whatever you’re listening to, and you groove.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No matter who you are or where you’re from, you groove, just a little bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s no different than taking a deep breath of fresh air or biting into a particularly scrumptious piece of food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You just do it because that’s what you do.</div>
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So why do we dance, anyway?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’re not the only species to dance—there are all sorts of birds and fish and lizards and other mammals that do it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even insects.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Typically, they dance to get mates or establish dominance with other members of their species.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes, we do that too, though more often than not for the males of our species, we end up looking like a flatulating penguin keeping semi-step with the music—not particularly sexy or scary (or perhaps that’s just me?).</div>
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There are in fact, many explanations for why humans make music, appreciate music, and then move their bodies in ways that attempt to keep time with that music.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of these explanations involve some sort of communication.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First and foremost, communicating sexiness (or lack thereof).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other explanations include communicating to enhance social bonds within a community and/or to ward off would-be attackers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How else can you explain break-dancing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If that dude can spin around on his head like that, no way I’m gonna mess with him.</div>
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But it seems like there’s more to it than just communication.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From listening to Mozart while still in the womb to listening to giant purple dinosaurs and other colorful characters singing, music is supposed to help our brains develop as we grow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And why do we dance to that music when we’re not attracting mates or fending off enemies (or even learning to do those things)?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why do we dance just to feel funky?</div>
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A couple of weeks ago, Jack started to show signs of getting funky.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was driving around town, and he was in his carseat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were listening to ABBA, and all of a sudden he’s smiling and flailing his arms and legs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s never heard ABBA, and never really seen anyone dance (at least dance well), and there he is grooving in the carseat with no prompting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is ABBAs ‘Dancing Queen’ some throwback to tunes we played on the savannas of <place w:st="on">Africa</place> during the dawn of our species?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I couldn’t be sure he was really dancing or just flailing his arms and legs around in a way that appeared randomly timed to the tune (kind of like when I dance).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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In the intervening weeks, he’s been getting more and more bold with his funkitude, and it’s become clear that this isn’t random flailing, but he’s dancing to the music.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But as I think about it, he’s never really watched us dance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Certainly not much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And we’ve never really tried to teach him to dance, nor has he watched any TV or videos with dancing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, he hears music, and just wants to dance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Check out the video below for one of the first unquestionable grooves of Jack's from a couple days ago.</span></div>
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As I’ve been writing this blog, I’ve generally been able to find satisfying answers to most of my questions about why we do what we do from a scientific perspective within a few minutes of Google-ing around the internet; why we eat what we eat, and love how we love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even for most types of art, there are decent explanations for why we do it and appreciate it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But music and dancing seem different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Certainly, there’s lots of evidence about what music does for our brains, that it makes us happy, more intelligent, and the like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not yet satisfied by the explanations that exist, particularly as I observe Jack developing his own sense of funk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Aside from communicating love and war, why are we so into music and dancing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Apologies for the incompleteness of this post—Jack and I have to go off to do some more research before we can reach a satisfying conclusion about the science of funkitology.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What do ya say, Jack, wanna hit the clubs tonight?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-81670582178384874522011-10-04T13:50:00.000-07:002011-10-04T18:35:24.718-07:00The SAHD-vocate<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Usually Americans aren’t very jealous of their Swedish cousins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Except for a couple of weeks every four-years when the winter Olympics come around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, the Swedes rule.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one is better at cross country skiing and then stopping to shoot stuff than the Swedes (unless you’re Norwegian or Finnish).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I’ve recently become very jealous of <a href="http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2010/08/snack_bags_and_a_regular_paycheck_the_happy_life_of_a_swedish_dad.2.html"><country-region w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Sweden</place></country-region>’s child-leave policies</a>. You see, in <country-region w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Sweden</place></country-region>, working parents are entitled to 16 months paid leave per child, so long as at least 2 of those months are used by the ‘minority’ parent (usually the dad).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, Dads can get 2-14 months of paid leave per kid, depending on how they work it out with their spouse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Sure, guys can take a bit of unpaid leave in the <country-region w:st="on"><place w:st="on">U.S.</place></country-region><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Six-weeks or so, depending on your state and employer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And maybe even a bit of it could be paid with very generous employers. But most men don’t take it—either because they can’t afford it, or they don’t want to lose the momentum of their careers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was in the latter category.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When Jack was born it didn’t even occur to me that I should really take real time off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could barely keep my career on the track I wanted working 10 hour days, and I had to cut way back when Jack was born.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No way was I about to take any real leave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s not to say I didn’t spend a lot of time with him. Jack’s mom and I both kept him with us all day long, while trying to maintain our work as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it wasn’t quite the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never turned ‘it’ off just to be with my son with nothing else to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And after a few months, when he was no longer happy sitting in boring meetings, we got a nanny and went back to work without him (though it was agonizing at first).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Before Jack came into my life, I knew guys—especially from other countries with more liberal polices—who took considerable paternity leave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought they were pansies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew a dude from <place w:st="on"><country-region w:st="on">Sweden</country-region></place> who seemed to take years off as they had kid after kid after kid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How could you sacrifice your career for such a whiny little poop machine?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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As of this week, I’ve been a stay-at-home dad (SAHD) for three months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I think I get it now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I get the value of taking paternity leave or even quitting your job to stay at home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And not just a week or two vacation time, but some real hardcore and deep time with the baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I have a new respect for SAHDs and SAHMs out there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Seriously, t</span>his is the hardest, but most rewarding, job I’ve ever done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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While I was still working, I always tried to be a very involved dad to Jack, and I like to think I was pretty good at it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I held him, changed him, napped with him, played with him, etc. every second I got.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I have to be honest, I was still never really comfortable having him all day long for several days in a row.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, I think I’ve got it pretty well figured out, and I can’t really imagine life any other way. </div>
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A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a <a href="http://homewithlittlejack.blogspot.com/2011/09/science-of-love.html">post about the science of love</a>; while writing that post, I thought a lot about hormones and how they influence our behavior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In particular, baby-cuddling and other such interactions ‘stimulate’ certain hormones (oxytocin being the main one), which express themselves as feelings of love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The more interactions, the more love and the more comfortable you get with one another; the more addicted you get to one another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s not to say I didn’t love Jack before, or that I don’t appreciate an hour or two break from him every once in awhile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I think being a SAHD for these past few months has fundamentally changed me even more than I was changed after Jack was born but I was still working—and I was already pretty changed then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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In science, we sometimes talk about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hysteresis">hysteresis</a>, whereby a system depends not just on its current environment but on its past environment because it can exist in more than one possible state. But once you get to a state, you’re stuck there—at least until something pushes you away from that state.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are many examples of hysteresis in physics, biology, and economics—I think love and child-rearing is another example, particularly for men.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Three months of constant barraging by these love hormones all day every day, and I’m a different person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t go back.</div>
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Although being at home has been hard because of the circumstances that got me here, I will be forever changed because of this time I’ve been home with Jack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My brain is now officially wired differently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If someone were to offer me a well-paying job in my field that started tomorrow, I’d take it for financial reasons; but there’d be more than a little bit of remorse in losing this precious SAHD-time Jack and I have had together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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I really wish everyone could have the opportunity to take this sort of time with their young kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To put their careers on hold, but be able to jump right back in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To be able to afford to do so financially and emotionally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, if you can afford to do so, I would strongly advocate it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A week, a month, a year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take whatever you can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If every dad could be a SAHD and every mom a SAHM for at least some extended period of time, I think the world would be a happier place.<br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">P.S. As I wrote this post, I had a considerable amount of guilt for the situation in which I’ve found myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is because as a result of some very unfortunate circumstances that I created, I get to spend all of this time at home with Jack and blog about us and take him on adventures (like to the playground and the Home Depot) while his beautiful and loving mother has to work extra hard to take care of both her innocent and adorable little parasite (Jack) as well as her bigger, balder, and dumber parasite (me). I hope that some day I'll be able to make it all up to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or, better yet, maybe we could move to <country-region w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Sweden</place></country-region> so that both of us could spend time with him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All we gotta do is learn to ski.</i></div>
Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-8483926062729542952011-09-27T11:56:00.000-07:002011-09-27T17:41:28.661-07:00Parenting with the iPhone (may it rest in peace)<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
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My iPhone 3GS died today at 8:35 am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was one month away from being 2 years old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One minute, it was playing ‘Flashlight’ as Jack was holding it in his arms with a wide smile on his face and a groovy shake in his booty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was dancing and running all over the bedroom while I was putting away clothes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jack went into the bathroom, which is fine, he always goes in there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Loves climbing into his mom’s shower.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, just as Parliament was pleading to <em>“Help him find the funk”,</em> the unthinkable happened.</div>
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<strong><em>Kersplash!</em></strong></div>
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I ran to the bathroom to find the iPhone at the bottom of the toilet bowl, with Jack looking longingly inside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You see Jack is obsessed with putting stuff inside of other stuff, and garbage cans, toilets, and any other open object have become the receptacle for his stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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With reckless abandon, I thrust my hands deep into the toilet water and grabbed the phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was still sputtering…much softer now.</div>
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<em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Now I lay me down to sleep, I guess I’ll go count the sheep, Oh but I will never dance”.</em></div>
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And those were the last words I heard from that sweet sweet smartphone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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I rushed downstairs, took it out of its case, and helplessly tried to push the button.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tried to plug it in, and the little apple came on, ever so faintly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If the little apple came on, maybe it’ll be OK, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then it went blank.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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In pure desperation, I grabbed a blow-dryer and the tool box and went down to the basement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How in the heck do you open those things anyway?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just as a doctor has to break a few ribs to get to the heart when someone is in cardiac arrest, I cracked open that case as best I could, turned the blow-dryer on cool, and let it run in a hopeless and vain attempt to resurrect it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Three hours on blow-dryer life support, and still no signs of life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jack woke up from his morning nap, I threw him in the car with a handful of Cheerios to stave his hunger, and we tore off to the Apple store at the mall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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“What happened”, they asked, as I showed them the mangled phone which was now missing a volume and on button as a result of my heroic life-saving attempts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I pointed to Jack and muttered something about the toilet, trying to hold back my tears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They laughed, but said it was pretty much useless. I guess the iPhone 3GS was so old that it has a do not resuscitate (DNR) order.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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All day, I’ve been reminiscing about that phone. Having flashbacks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been meaning to write a blog post about it, and how it was single-handedly the best tool we’ve had for raising Jack this past year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, I kept notes of posts I wanted to write right on the iPhone for quick access when the thought occurred to me.</div>
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Here’s a list of the things I remember most about the iPhone and Jack:</div>
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<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">The background picture I had on my phone, with all the apps in the foreground, was Jack’s beautiful mom smiling while sitting on a volcanic black sand beach in <state w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Hawaii</place></state>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was glowing, having been pregnant with Jack for a little over a month; at that point, life was perfect.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">During Jack’s pre-natal development, every Sunday morning, Jack’s mom and I would read about his development on ‘What to Expect’s pregnancy tracker app’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’d read about what organs were developing, what fruit he was the size of that week (an olive, peach, melon), and other fun facts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was one of the highlights of our week. Then we'd take a picture of her growing belly with the iPhone to add to the album.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">In the delivery room, just as Jack emerged all covered in goo and was whisked over to get weighed and measured, I wiped out my iPhone and snapped some pictures.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">Throughout the early months of Jack’s life, we were pretty much permanently attached to him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He slept on us, ate on us, peed on us, you name it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without that iPhone, I’d have gone insane.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Playing Angry Birds for hours on end, doing email, surfing the web, reading, whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">Jack was terrible in the car seat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He hated it so much, that even a 20 minute drive was an eternity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only thing that helped was YouTube videos of Baby Einstein played on the iPhone</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">Every picture and video I’ve taken of Jack from the time he was born ‘til this morning was taken on my iPhone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can text/email them to grandparents, uncles and aunts, cousins, and whomever in seconds flat so that it seems like we’re not so far away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For his 1 year birthday I made a slideshow of all of the pictures and a collage video of all of the videos, and it was awesome.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">When traveling or otherwise on the go, we use a ‘baby monitor’ app so that you can place one iPhone next to Jack while he’s sleeping and it’ll call another phone when he wakes up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(disclaimer, this does not mean you can go out for dinner and drinks).</li>
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I left the store with a new iPhone 3GS for $50. The clerk tried to get me to upgrade to an iPhone 4, and I could have even waited for the 5 to come out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I loved that 3GS so much; it carried with it so many memories of this early part of Jack’s life. So, I've decided that I’m going to put the new one in the same case as the old one, download the backup onto it, and pretend this morning never happened…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Except that Jack no long gets to play with the iPhone while we’re grooving to Parliament.</div>
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Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-45595062247752597012011-09-22T14:17:00.000-07:002011-09-23T08:31:55.067-07:00The Population Bomb?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Sure, we can use <a href="http://homewithlittlejack.blogspot.com/2011/08/cloth-or-disposable-solving-great.html">cloth instead of disposable diapers</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can avoid using bottled water.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can walk or bike instead of drive, and buy hybrid or electric cars when we do have to drive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can eat organic foods low on the food chain, install low flow showers and regulate our toilet flushing behavior (if it’s yellow, let it mellow, if it’s brown, flush it down).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, we can think, act, and live ‘green’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, the bottom-line is that, at least according to most staunch environmentalists (myself included), no matter how much we curb our own wasteful activities, the world is going to hell in a hand-basket, and human overpopulation is the primary cause!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(By the way, what in the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_hell_in_a_handbasket">hell is a hand-basket</a> anyway?)</div>
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<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Robert_Malthus">Thomas Malthus</a> first told us of the impending doom that would arise from the unbridled growth of the human species in the 1700s. The core of Malthus’ idea was that there was some carrying capacity to our species.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s only so much corn and potatoes and rice and wheat and beef and pork and chicken and apples and oranges and carrots and peanut butter and butternut squash and M&Ms and beans and fish and chips (for you UK readers), and well you get the picture-- out there in the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once we have so many people that we’re eating all of the food that we can produce--not to mention use all of our fossil fuels, clear all of our forests, and use all of the silicon out there for our laptops, iPads, and Game Boys--we’re full.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’re at carrying capacity, and we can’t add another person onto the planet without causing severe hardships for others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Malthus’ ideas were revolutionary, and provided the foundation for understanding how populations of species are regulated; they even gave <city w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Darwin</place></city> the fundamental insight he needed to derive his initial theories of evolution by natural selection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Malthus is often championed as a hero in the environmental movement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Turns out that Malthus wasn’t quite the environmental hero that I always imagined.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was kind of a creepy dude who used his ideas, which were fundamentally sound, to push a rather dark agenda, not the least of which led to the brutal starvation of thousands of Irish during the Irish Potato famine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They had to starve, you see, because we humans had exceeded our carrying capacity, and all would suffer if they were given aid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sound familiar?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It should. Very similar reasoning has been used to justify such lovely parts of our human past as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eugenics">Eugenics</a> and the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rwandan_Genocide">genocide in <country-region w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Rwanda</place></country-region></a>, among others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Fast forward a couple hundred years, and one of my personal heros, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_R._Ehrlich">Paul Ehrlich</a>, a butterfly ecologist, and his wife Anne, wrote an impassioned plea for people to stop having so many kids in the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Population_Bomb">‘Population Bomb’</a>, making a series of stark predictions that helped to spark the environmental movement of the 1970s .<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While very influential, and certainly not as dark as their Malthusian predecessors, the Ehrlich predictions also were criticized for a series of errors in calculation, primarily because their predicted disasters, famine, and pestilence never came true.</div>
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In all of these cases, the biggest error people have made in their gloomy predictions was in assuming that carrying capacity did not change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The industrial revolution occurred just after Malthus and the green revolution just after Ehrlich.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Human ingenuity is always increasing our carrying capacity, our ability to extract and create resources, and all the while increasing our own standard of living and longevity (for the most part).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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So, why the heck am I droning on and on about overpopulation and environmental problems?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This blog is supposed to be about a wonderful little baby named Jack, and me, his SAHD, trying to figure out just what life is all about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shut up already, and show us some cute videos or pictures, or at least talk about the baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I’ll tell you why I’m droning on and on about populations. It’s because Jack’s a year old now, and I'm starting to think I could do this again. I could have another baby. We love Jack so much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s getting more and more fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s walking now, he’s interacting and playing and pulling out the computer cord when he wants me to pay attention to him rather than whatever I’m working on. He's even started to dance a little bit (stay tuned for a post about that as soon as I can capture his funkiness on video).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, both his mom and I have started to talk about how much we miss the <a href="http://homewithlittlejack.blogspot.com/2011/08/where-did-our-helpless-little-baby-go.html">helpless little baby he used to be</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We miss his smushed face and fat legs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We miss cuddling with him while he slept.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We even miss the spit-up and the sleepless nights—well, maybe not that much, but seriously, these <a href="http://homewithlittlejack.blogspot.com/2011/09/science-of-love.html">love/parenting hormones are powerful powerful things</a>.</div>
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Maybe it’s not an accident that siblings in the <country-region w:st="on"><place w:st="on">U.S.</place></country-region> are on average 2.5 years apart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometime between the first and second year of a child’s life, the parents decide to go for it all over again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, sometimes it’s not necessarily a decision but an accident, and sometimes religion and/or culture certainly play a role on the intervals between kids and the number of kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Monty Python’s take on this issue can be seen below in one of the all-time best musical satires ever.</div>
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I’ve said before that I was <a href="http://homewithlittlejack.blogspot.com/2011/08/unconditional-love-game-changers-and.html">pretty reluctant to have kids</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just didn’t think I could squeeze it into my already full life of doing nothing but science.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I justified this because there were already too many people in the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, after Jack was born, I was pretty certain he was all I wanted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could barely manage my life and my career was taking a huge hit. Not to mention how much our carbon footprint skyrocketed by bringing a new life into this world. That’s it, that’s all I want…no more kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who needs siblings anyway? Older ones at least.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are better than you at everything you try to do, sports, school, girls; they hold you down and threatened to spit on your face; they steal your parents love and affection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only children can grow up just fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They can learn social skills and sharing and such without having that sibling dynamic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Or at least, that’s what I thought until about 3 months ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now I think we have this kid thing figured out. Now I’m addicted to giving and receiving unconditional love. Now I could totally do this again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In reality, we might not have more kids for a variety of reasons, but I’m totally up for it, and in fact, really want it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And in doing so, I guess I’ll increase my carbon footprint even more, and leave this planet more in the shitter than it already is, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Well, maybe not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe we can be a bit more optimistic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to be honest, I’ve always been rather pessimistic about our species, about its impact on this planet, and about our future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But now that I can see the world through Jack’s eyes, I’m starting to think about the world pretty differently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think Jack, and maybe even a younger sister or brother, will live long and happy lives. They’ll see things that we can’t even imagine now, but it’s still worth bringing them into this world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life is a gift and even though there are many more lives on this planet now than there ever have been before, there’s reason for optimism.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, the growth rate of the human population is declining, having peaked in the 1960s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s an interesting new book that Jack’s mom turned me onto that discusses the possibility—even likelihood—of our population declining in numbers very soon (<a href="http://www.beacon.org/productdetails.cfm?PC=2120">The Coming Population Crash and Our Planet’s Surprising Future</a> by Fred Pearce).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Europe is already seeing these trends, and in Singapore, people (especially women) are working and enjoying their lives so much that their birth rates are drastically low; so low, that the government has initiated their own matchmaking service to get people to hook up and make some more babies (so romantic!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, with fewer young people overall, the economy and society as a whole suffers as us old farts continue to age and suck off the proverbial teat of the younger generation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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So, what’s this mean?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Should we all go out there and have more babies?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Should we counter the declining trend?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who knows? This is tough stuff at the interface of sustainability, demography, economy, agriculture, sociology and politics—way beyond my comprehension to derive a simple answer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least until I get myself another double espresso.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it’s a much more complicated problem then Malthus or Ehrlich thought, and certainly much more complicated than I ever thought before Jack entered my life and I realized that having kids wasn’t evil planet-killing behavior, but rather the expression of our love, the living of our lives to their fullest, and the passing on of a bit of who we are to the future world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
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Maybe someday Jack will have a little brother or sister to play with, to spit upon, and/or to watch over and protect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or maybe he won’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But regardless, I no longer feel guilty about bringing a child (or children) into this world, and hope that Jack, along with the approximately 130 million other kids on this planet who are 1 year old, figure out how to live happy, healthy, and prosperous lives without driving this planet to hell in a hand-basket. </div>
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Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-23082342954947248532011-09-15T09:25:00.000-07:002011-09-15T12:42:57.951-07:00The Science of Love<div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Dude, I need a fix of vasopressin. I’m tripping on this prolactin, give me another hit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Man that oxytocin was awesome, but now I’ve got the munchies…where are the Cheetos?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m completely addicted to those drugs….the drugs of love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yep, as the immortal words of Robert Palmer, along with a bunch of scary looking women with slicked-back hair, told me in 1986:</div>
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Whoa, you like to think that you’re immune to the stuff, </div>
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It’s closer to the truth to say you can’t get enough</div>
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I was 16 then, and I didn’t really know what love was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, I loved my family, but they were always there and around so I didn’t really know it was an addiction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, I’m addicted to Oxygen too, but it’s just a part of life, and they’ll always be there for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, I didn’t really start to know what love was until Jack’s mom came into my life over a decade after Robert Palmer spoke (sung) those immortal words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not talking about the <a href="http://www.youramazingbrain.org.uk/lovesex/sciencelove.htm">initial stages of love</a>—those are great stages induced by testosterone and estrogen (Stage 1. Lust) or dopamine, adrenaline, and serotonin (Stage 2. Attraction).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, I’m talking about that deep love that the scientists call ‘Stage 3. Attachment’, but you and I call it real love. The love that makes you want to be together forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In sickness and in health.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The love that makes you want to be with that person all of the time. That person is a part of you and you are a part of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You suffer when they suffer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re happy when they’re happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You want them to achieve the best they can, no matter what, and you miss them when they’re gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Addiction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, the neuroendocrinologists tell us it’s an addiction to oxytocin, vasopressin, and prolactin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Not very romantic, huh?</span><br />
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“Do you take this woman to be your wife, to cuddle with in order to stimulate oxytocin and to take care of your offspring in order to pass your genes onto the next generation?” </div>
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“I do.”</div>
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So, what about love for your children?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When a child is born, love is instantaneous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, the mother has been awash with hormones for 9 months, and so perhaps that’s not too surprising.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, it turns out Dads are also building hormone levels during this time, and <a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2011/09/13/140431310/one-price-of-fatherhood-low-testosterone?ps=sh_sthdl">losing their testosterone </a> (so <em>that’s</em> the reason I’m growing breasts).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All preparing to help this pooping and crying helpless little creature make it in this crazy world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Two parts oxytocin, a sprinkle of vasopressin, a dash of prolactin…blend, heat at 98.6 degrees for 9 months, and instant love. Serves 2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, recent studies suggest that the increasing proportion of fathers in the birthing room, and the resulting hormones they get from that experience, have increased their overall participation in the child-rearing process (but there’s obviously a chicken and egg problem here).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yep, notice that those same hormones I talked about above, especially good old oxytocin, are there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The love you have for your spouse is stimulated by the same hormones that stimulate the love you have for your baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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But as men, why do we love our spouses and children so much?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Doesn’t evolutionary theory suggest we should go out there and spread our seed as far and wide as possible?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have as many offspring as we can?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, there’s a certain drive to do that among many species, and even in some human cultures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But think about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How hard is it to raise a child by yourself?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many many people do it, and do a wonderful job--and I have so much respect for those people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But most need a hand from family, from daycare, from a babysitter, from someone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Heck, sometimes we need two people just to get Jack dressed and fed in the morning.</span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-63OSUKkdsiQ/TnIk0Ac9hWI/AAAAAAAAAG8/EKTTpX83rLE/s1600/adorable.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" rba="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-63OSUKkdsiQ/TnIk0Ac9hWI/AAAAAAAAAG8/EKTTpX83rLE/s320/adorable.JPG" width="238" /></a>Human babies are among the most helpless, for the longest period of time, of any species in the animal kingdom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, seriously, if we let Jack out on his own right now, in about 5 minutes he’d be running around in a busy street with a bunch of wood chips in his mouth and a pair of scissors in his hands (and yes, he’s done each of these on several occasions, just not all at the same time).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only reason we’ve all made it through life as far as we have is because of our parents and the other folks who kept us out of trouble for many years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In evolutionary speak, if we want our genes to make it to the next generation, so that they can procreate themselves, we have to protect them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, right now, half of my genes are inside of a tiny human who’s more adorable than I can say (see picture to the right), but is as stupid as he is helpless, and I have to protect him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to cuddle with him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to be with him and love him all of the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Oxytocin is just a stimulant to help me accomplish what I need to accomplish as a father and husband, just like caffeine is a stimulant to help me accomplish pretty much anything that has to do with using my brain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But unlike caffeine, which I can get anytime I need from the espresso machine, I get my oxytocin from touch, from cuddling, and from being near my loved ones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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I’ve always loved Jack, from the second he was born (and before).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But after doing a bit of research on the chemistry of love, I think I have a bit of a better understanding of my feelings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>According to <a href="http://givingbirthwithconfidence.org/2011/06/the-science-of-father-love/">some statistics</a>, fathers in the <place w:st="on"><country-region w:st="on">U.S.</country-region></place> spent on average ~15 minutes a day with their children in 1975.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seriously, 15 minutes?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spend that much time every day wiping Jack’s butt (if I haven’t mentioned it, he poops a lot).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In 1995, it was more like 2 hours a day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not sure what the numbers are today, or where these numbers came from--they are a bit hard to believe--but I would suspect that on average, fathers are spending much more time with their kids now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And what this means is that they’re stimulating more of those powerful love drugs and becoming more addicted to being with their families; it’s a positive feedback. For me, I think the fact that we <a href="http://homewithlittlejack.blogspot.com/2011/08/co-sleeping-dad-napping-and-almighty.html">co-slept with Jack for the first several months of his life, and I carried him around in the Baby Bjorn</a> all of the time really got my oxytocin going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now that I’m a stay-at-home dad, I spend at least 90% of his awake time with him (sadly, he no longer wants to nap on top of me), and my addiction is through the roof. </div>
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In pragmatic terms, evolutionary biologists talk about ‘kin selection’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We want to help those around us who share our genes in order to help those genes make it on to the next generation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many of our social behaviors, including feelings of love, can be explained by this principle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When talking of kin selection, the evolutionary biologist, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J.B.S._Haldane">J.B.S. Haldane</a>, famously said he’d lay down his life for 2 brothers or 8 cousins, referring to the fact that we, on average, share 50% of our genes with our siblings and 12.5% with our cousins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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While the principles of kin selection might be relevant on average, over thousands of generations and millions of people, who really acts like this on a day-to-day basis?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I first learned the principles of kin selection and other arguments about human behavior, I remember getting into late night arguments with friends about altruism. There was no such thing as true altruism, I thought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone wants something in return for their actions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mother Teresa?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nope, not even her, I argued.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I think I was wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These hormones that we are so addicted to have us so madly in love with our spouses, with our children, with our families, that we’d do things that anyone doing the math of genetics would say do not make sense. These hormones betray our genes.</div>
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The human species needs cooperation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For raising babies, for getting food and making shelter, and for creating this fall’s line-up of reality TV shows and sitcoms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So it makes sense that love has evolved deep in our psyche.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To have our attachment to our parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To have us so hopelessly intertwined and in love with our spouse that we stick around to help raise the children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To have us raise our own children, and to protect them at all costs. </div>
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But the expression of love doesn’t always make logical sense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can’t titer our hormones to say “my child shares 50% of my genes, so I’ll love him 50% as much as I love myself”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the kind of love we often call ‘unconditional’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unconditional love doesn’t seem to make sense evolutionarily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is something bigger and broader than that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it’s the expression of our hormones out of control, or maybe it’s something beyond the constraints of genetics and neuroendocronology.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe unconditional love is the stuff of faith, inspiration, and belief in some higher power.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And when we have it, and we have it good, we get addicted to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We want to be with that person, we want to help that person, we want to right any wrongs that we have done, we’ll do anything we can do to keep that love going and are terrified to lose it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need that fix because it’s the very essence of who we are.</div>
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Might as well face it, I’m addicted to love……</div>
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….now where are those damn Cheetos?</div>
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Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-33809092679009795342011-09-11T08:34:00.000-07:002011-09-11T12:46:14.793-07:00Separation Anxiety<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
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There are probably at least 325,947 blog posts about remembering 9/11 today, on the 10<sup>th</sup> anniversary of that terrible day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s pretty much what everyone in the <country-region w:st="on"><place w:st="on">U.S.</place></country-region> is thinking about today (and countless others throughout the world). And certainly millions more tweets, facebook posts, and other social media outlets are taking up extra bandwidth today for people to acknowledge a day that really did transform our day-to-day consciousness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, these venues didn’t even exist on 9/11, which seems like an eternity ago. Heck, I didn’t even have a cell phone then. So I apologize for being a bit redundant, and I promise this post is really about Jack and me and fatherhood and all that sappy stuff I’ve been writing about for the past month or so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Jack was not even in my sub-sub-sub-sub conscience on 9/11.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Babies were not in my plan to be the best scientist ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, 10 years later, the tragedy that happened then makes me realize how profound having a child is, and how devastating that day must have been for thousands and thousands of people who lost their children and other loved ones, whether they were 1 or 41.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was working that day…because, well, I worked every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t even know about the attacks until mid-afternoon because I was working at home, engrossed in some sort of science which was everything to me then, but now seems rather trivial.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I found out, I became glued to the TV, watching 24 h solid of CNN just like everyone else. Whatever it was I was working on was neglected for a few days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it was more surreal than real.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Terrible, yes. Terrifying, yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I didn’t really know anyone who was directly affected by the attacks. So I don’t think I internalized it as much as perhaps I should have. The tragedy felt by so many people by having lost loved-ones, children, parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_YwK33fZCfaE/Sy4TfoNAfFI/AAAAAAAAFxQ/5ZwahIFS_Pk/s400/grinch+heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>No more Swiss Army knives being taken onto planes, no more seeing people off and picking them up at the gate, and always having to take my damn laptop out of its case.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These were the things that most affected me in the wake of 9/11.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, a week after 9/11, I went to a travel agent (this was in the dark ages, before Orbitz, Travelocity, Kayak, Priceline, etc) to book a ticket to <country-region w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Sweden</place></country-region> for a work trip. The travel agent stared at me through glassy eyes, obviously not having seen a soul in her office since the tragedy; she looked at me incredulously when I told her what I needed. No one was buying airplane tickets right now. Sure, we’re at war. Sure, air travel is a bit scarier. But heck, I’ve got to get to Sweden—their economy might collapse and the world would follow if I don’t give a couple of seminars about my research on pond scum, meet with a bunch of graduate students over beer (at Noon!), and eat their god-awful food (I still have nightmares about the Moose-blood sausage and Reindeer Heart they made me eat).</div>
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So, fast forward 10 years, and here I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A stay-at-home dad who’s life has become completely transformed by a 1-year old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mind you, he’s the best 1-year old that ever stepped foot on this planet, but still.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What would the 31 year-old me think of the 41-year old me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’d have thought I was a washed-up has-been who’s thrown away his career for absolutely idiotic reasons (which is true) and now has nothing better to do than while away the time chasing after a wobbly toddler who loves grabbing for the knives in the dishwasher (which is also true, but it’s been so much more awesome than I ever imagined).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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I think today I’m more deeply affected by thinking about the tragedy that happened on 9/11 than I was at the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not that I wasn’t horrified by what happened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, it wasn’t focused, it wasn’t specific, I didn’t have any direct connection to those events.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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There is a possibility that I might have to be separated from Jack for awhile soon. I’m not sure how likely that possibility is, but it’s possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, I sob every time I think about it. But he’s healthy, he’s happy, and he’s fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now that I have Jack, now that I’m so completely in love with him, and now that there’s a chance I might have to be apart from him for a while, I think I have a teeny-tiny bit of a better idea of what those who survived loved ones in the 9/11 tragedy must have gone through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or frankly, any other tragedy where a loved one is lost.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_YwK33fZCfaE/Sy4TfoNAfFI/AAAAAAAAFxQ/5ZwahIFS_Pk/s1600/grinch+heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" nba="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_YwK33fZCfaE/Sy4TfoNAfFI/AAAAAAAAFxQ/5ZwahIFS_Pk/s320/grinch+heart.jpg" width="320" /></a>I know that what I’m dealing with is nothing compared to what they had to deal with, but I think I’ve figured out what falling so deeply in love with your spouse and children does to your basic anatomy and physiology.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But like most scientific truths, Dr. Suess figured it out long ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember when the Grinch’s heart grew 3 sizes?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know the cardiologists out there will deny it, but I think that’s what happens when you fall so deeply in love with your spouse and when you have a child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You don’t just fill up your old heart with love—your heart grows and you fill that up too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And when something tragic happens, it has that much more profound of an effect on you.</div>
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Jack has made me realize how important family is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not just parents and offspring, but all family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We live far away from our families. Now, I love my family, but honestly, the distance never really bothered me that much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was too busy with work to hang with them anyway, so what’s it matter? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I no longer feel that way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish we could see my parents more than a few times a year and they could really get to know Jack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish my brothers and aunts were just in the next town over and we could have dinner or watch a football game together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish Jack could really get to know his cousins.</div>
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So, here I am, crying as I type. 10 years after one of the most profound and tragic events in my adult life, thinking about my loving family, my amazing wife, my wonderful baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hoping that we can all be together forever.</div>
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Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-72604154825755950392011-09-07T03:53:00.000-07:002011-09-08T13:08:04.236-07:00Guest Post: Raising a child to be a global citizen<em>Today, I have a guest post over on </em><a href="http://tired-mummy.blogspot.com/"><em>Tired Mum of Two's</em></a><em> Blog over in Britain. But I've copied it below for posterity (and because I like the post).</em><br />
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My first guest blog! An American on a British blog. Let me start warm up with some US-UK translation. Analyze (=Analyse), Color (=Colour), Lou (=bathroom, restroom, etc), flat (=apartment). Quick question: Why don’t you spell it bloug? Ok, now that’s covered, I think we’re ready to go! <br />
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What to write about on a guest blog? My little boy Jack (1-year old) and I have only been doing this blogging thing for a month or so now, since I’ve been staying home with him. And I have to say that although he’s the inspiration for much of what we write about, Jack’s not very helpful with the actual writing. His grammar’s off, and he has no sense of structure. His main contributions to the blog are grabbing the wireless mouse, unplugging the computer, and typing various combinations of aehfao;ehg;ahg jahsjdfhasd . So, when we sat down this morning to brainstorm about what to write in this guest blog, you can imagine that his input was not quite of equal contribution. Here’s what he wanted to say…”da da da da da da da mumumummumumumumum…pppppppbbbbbbsssssttt”. So, I told him I’d find a way to work it in. There ya go Jack.<br />
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But, I digress. When Tired-Mummy (that’s Mommy for any U.S. readers out there…really don’t know why all the extra U’s) asked me if I’d be interested in doing a guest blog, I thought it’d be fun to think about raising a child to be an international citizen. This world is changing so rapidly, melding of cultures, of languages, of food, of religion. Jack’s mom and I never really travelled outside of the country when we were growing up. And Chinese food was pretty much the only ethnic food we were exposed to (unless you count Italian). And we’re not even talking real Chinese food. You know the stuff they bring around on the Dim Sum cart and when they come by our table, and you ask what it is and they just look at you, shake their head and say “not for you”. Turns out Americans don’t usually like turtle and chicken-feet for Sunday brunch. No, this was Americanized Chinese food. Deep-fried General Tsao’s chicken, sweet-and-sour pork, and the like.<br />
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When Jack’s mom and I grew up and became scientists, we were exposed us to many great new international things. Food: Sushi, Thai, Ethiopian. Travel: to other countries for work and having foreign-people travel to the U.S. to work with us. Culture: Even cultures as similar as the US vs. UK have a great many differences—more so than just your fetish for extra U’s and your aversion to the letter z (=zed), let alone the differences among non-western cultures. <br />
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The world in which Jack is going to be an adult is going to be a very different one than it is right now and very very different from when we grew up. Like it or not, we’re becoming a more and more homogenized planet. It’s easy to see this happening in the U.S. You could be in the deserts of Arizona, the Mountains of Colorado, the plains of Nebraska, or the urbanized east coast. But 90% of what you see looks exactly the same. Green lawns of grass all cut to ½ an inch, houses built just a few years ago that all look the same and are the same shade of Taupe; Home Depot and Lowe’s to buy your home improvement stuff; Target and Walmart to buy everything else; TGI Fridays and Applebees for dinner. Seriously, it’s all becoming the same. And it’s spreading. I was on Crete last winter—pretty much as deep into the Mediterranean sea as you can go before you hit Africa. I was at a conference, looking for a really strong Greek Coffee (you know, the stuff that’s more grounds than liquid) to get me through an afternoon of very boring talks. Asked someone on the street where I could get a good coffee, and speaking very little English, he pointed me to the Starbucks across the street. Ugh. <br />
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We’re simultaneously becoming a more diverse international community—More types of people, more types of food, more types of culture and language in any one place—and a less diverse one—Starbucks and MacDonald’s on every corner, English being taught to kids in grammar school in most countries across the world. It might be argued that the increased connectivity in our society has on occasion caused increasing conflict. And one of the unintentional consequences of increasing the connectivity among cultures and languages and such is that some of those are lost as we move towards a homogenous global society (some languages and dialects are going extinct just like animals and plants do). However, I am hopeful that the increased internationalization of our society will ultimately decrease conflict. Humans are innately tribal. We support individuals that are part of our tribe, and sometimes fight with individuals that are parts of other tribes. As the global community becomes more and more interconnected, perhaps the differences that we see amongst one another will no longer seem like differences. If we’re exposed to those differences from early childhood, we can all become part of the same global tribe.<br />
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The children of today, our little Jack, Tired Mummy’s little Elizabeth and Alison, and all the other little kids out there are going to have to navigate this world in a way that we have never had to navigate it before. We want Jack to be exposed to diverse languages; we want him to be exposed to diverse foods; we want him to be exposed to diverse cultures and people. We believe that exposure at an early age will enable him to be a better global citizen in a world which will undoubtedly be a very different place than what it is today. And, maybe someday when we’re all at Dim Sum on a Sunday morning, he can speak Chinese to the servers, and we’ll finally get them to serve us that fried turtle—just to see if we like it.<br />
Jack’s Dad (with a little help from Jack)<br />
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<a href="http://tired-mummy.blogspot.com/2011/09/guest-post-raising-child-to-be-global.html">Read the original post here.</a>Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-83268264463119628172011-09-05T14:51:00.000-07:002011-09-05T15:01:33.847-07:00My birthday wish<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Do you really deep down believe that birthday wishes come true?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ever? But we all make them, don’t we?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m a scientist, and try as I might, I can’t derive any theory based on modern physical, chemical, biological and mathematical principles that could lead to a cause-effect relationship between blowing out a small wax candle that was bought at Walgreens and some major benefit coming to the individual that blew out that candle so long as it occurs on the anniversary of the date at which they were forcibly extracted from their mother’s womb.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m rational, I’m logical, and birthday wishes are just that…wishes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I remember always hoping that just once, my wish would come true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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A week ago today, Jack turned 1.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now it’s my turn—today’s my 41<sup>st</sup> birthday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yep, I’m old for having my first baby, and really old for trying to figure out this whole ‘life’ thing, but well, here we are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Today’s post is more about me than Jack, and I apologize for that. But I think you’ll see the influence he and his mom have had on me and I promise I’ll get back to writing about him next time. </div>
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When I was a kid, I was always told I couldn’t reveal my birthday wish or it wouldn’t come true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I never did get that pro-football contract or a date to the prom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, screw you wish-making fairies or whoever you are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m going to throw wish-making etiquette out the window, and make today’s birthday wish public… </div>
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But first, let me give you a bit of background, though I’ve said most of this before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve sort of side-stepped a lot of the ‘life’ stuff over the past 20 years with a single-minded determination for being the best I could be at my work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Somewhere along the way, by some miracle of miracles, I met an amazing woman who has similar passions as me, and I got luckier than I ever deserved—she married me and several years later, we brought Jack into this world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Work was my first love until my wife entered my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, it was my second love until Jack entered our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then it was my third love, but still a huge part of who I was, how I defined myself, and what I did really really well. An absolutely perfect life…great job, great spouse, great baby...well, you know what’s coming next.</div>
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As a result of some very foolish things that will remain unsaid, I now find myself without that work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without that identity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without that passion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without that salary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, at the same time, I am getting to spend so much more time with Jack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am getting to redefine myself as Jack’s Dad, and to figure out who I am as a person, how I ended up here, and where I really want to be in the future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the past two months, I’ve rediscovered that I like to write beyond the boundaries of boring scientific writing; I’ve rediscovered that I like to cook; I’ve discovered that I like hanging out with Jack (and his mom when she is able to get away) all day long without worrying that there’s something else I really should be doing; I’ve discovered that family and friends are much more important than some stupid emails I have to respond to or reports I have to write; and, I’ve discovered that I really suck at home improvement projects.</div>
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Do I want my old life back?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Yes’, absolutely..…wait, ‘no’ forget it…wait, ‘yes’ and ‘no’… How do I make a birthday wish with such conflictions?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>OK, here goes…as I become fully entrenched in my fifth decade on this world, I hereby ask that the birthday wish fairies would grant me the following wishes:</div>
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(pause to blow out the candle….)</div>
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I wish that Jack remains healthy and happy;</div>
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I wish that our family will get through this very difficult time and eventually end up in a place as good (or better) than we were before, emotionally and financially; </div>
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I wish that I can resurrect the important aspects of my career that I love but still get to hang out with Jack all of the time;</div>
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I wish that that I will actually write that novel that I started, and maybe even get someone to publish it and make it into a blockbuster movie so that we can afford to take Jack on nice trips and get him whatever he needs as he grows up; </div>
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I wish that I could figure out how to fix the back door so that Jack doesn’t keep breaking out;</div>
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I know that seems greedy, and like an awful lot of wishes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess I figure the wish-fairies owe me because I never did get that date to the prom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But my family—Jack and his mom—are all that really matters, so if I only get one wish, well, you know what to do. </div>
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Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-78673904711442992232011-08-30T13:06:00.000-07:002011-08-31T06:36:06.505-07:00You’re one-year old now…time for some more shots!<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I vividly remember being terrified of shots when I was growing up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seriously terrified.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">As a young child: Vaccination boosters? Nooooo, mommy, why are you doing this to me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A little whooping cough never hurt anyone, has it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>None of my friends have ever had smallpox, so why do I need a shot against it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">As a rambunctious teenager: Sure, I just stepped on a rusty nail that went all the way through my sandal and into my foot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But please no Tetanus shots, that’d hurt too much!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know you have to drill deep into my tooth to get at that cavity, but I’d rather deal with the pain than get a shot of Novocain in my gums.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a high school football player, I had absolutely no problem banging my bare head against the metal locker to show the other kids how tough I was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, stick me with a TB shot?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eeeekkkk!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Honestly, I have no idea why I have such an irrational fear of shots.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In reality, they never hurt that much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it seems as if this is a pretty general trend…people hate shots!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it’s some innate fear that we have embedded in our genes, like our fear of snakes and bad 1990s movies with <place w:st="on"><placename w:st="on">Pauly</placename> <placetype w:st="on">Shore</placetype></place>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe deep in our evolutionary subconscious, our fear is evoked by some ancient extinct needle-like predator of early humans that would dart out, inject us with a toxic serum that would digest us from the inside-out, and then use its capillary-like tongue to lap up our oozing juices.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Why all this talk of shots, you ask?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, Jack (and his parents) had a bit of a traumatic day yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The day after his first birthday—a great day with wonderful toys, his first ever cake, and playgrounds with splashy fountains—he had his one-year appointment at the pediatrician.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When Jack first met his pediatrician, she drew blood from his foot and cut the foreskin of his penis; not a very nice welcome into this world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And every time he’s been to her office since, he gets stuck with a bunch of needles for his vaccinations! It’s a good thing his long-term memory hasn’t kicked in, or he’d start screaming the second he saw her.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">The vaccination schedule is relentless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>MMR, Hep A, Hep B, Prevnar, DtaP, IPV/OPV, HIB. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O.P.P._(song)">You down wit OPP? Yeah you know me.</a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Jack’s mom and I get more upset by the whole ordeal than he does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First, he doesn’t know what’s coming to him, and after he gets stuck, he only cries for 30 seconds or so, and then seems to forget it. But, we’re traumatized for the rest of the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s so painful knowingly having your little baby hurt, especially when he has a fever or some other reaction afterwards.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">This got me thinking of the whole ‘controversy’ surrounding vaccinations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, Whooping cough is making a comeback in <state w:st="on"><place w:st="on">California</place></state>. WTF, seriously?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whooping cough?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This isn’t 1700s <city w:st="on"><place w:st="on">London</place></city>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’re talking northern <state w:st="on">California</state>, bastions of good wine, good food, beautiful scenery, cultural enlightenment….Seriously, check out this article from this past <a href="http://www.mercurynews.com/health/ci_18772007">weekend’s newspaper in <place w:st="on"><city w:st="on">Santa Cruz</city>, <state w:st="on">CA</state></place></a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And measles are taking off in <place w:st="on">Europe</place>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who gets measles anymore?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Honestly, being a scientist, I never really understood the controversy behind vaccinations; they are important for the health of society (herd health, they call it) and have minimal risks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember the other day when I was talking about how <a href="http://homewithlittlejack.blogspot.com/2011/08/raising-baby-in-age-of-google.html">Google has changed the way we do research</a>?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do a Google search on Vaccinations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Go ahead, I’ll wait here for you…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did you do it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ll see that out of the first 10 entries—the ones with the highest Pagerank—most of them discuss vaccinations as a controversy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Several of them suggest that they’re giving equal discussion to both sides of the controversy, and 2 of them are completely against vaccinations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, go over to Google Scholar and do the same thing (Google scholar is where most of the scientific articles are).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You won’t find more than 1 in a 100 studies that finds any significant negative associations with vaccines.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now don’t get me wrong, big pharmaceutical companies are certainly out to make a buck, and they have to be regulated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And science isn’t infallible, nor are scientists (and those who want to profit from science) always right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I do find it fascinating how different the ‘public’ perspective on science is relative to the science itself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">One of the most well-known ‘controversies’ surrounding vaccinations is that of the link between vaccinations and autism.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This appears to have been sparked when a paper published in an important medical journal in 1998 suggested a link between autism and the MMR vaccination.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Turns out this study was immediately discredited, the author was accused of scientific misconduct, most of the authors of the paper retracted their names from the study.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And since, dozens of much more carefully designed studies have found no evidence whatsoever of a link between autism and vaccinations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the idea just won’t go away. For a great overview of the science and public perception of the link between vaccinations and autism, <a href="http://www.plosbiology.org/article/info:doi/10.1371/journal.pbio.1000114">check out this article from PloS Biology</a> (it's freely available and easy to read).<br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">But let’s put my scientist hat down for a minute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now that I’m a parent, I get why vaccinations and other medical treatments are scary and even why they are controversial.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although the risks are minimal, there are risks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, our little baby has to feel instantaneous pain, and then gets sick for awhile afterwards.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As parents, our primary mission in life is to protect our children, no matter what.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While vaccines might do that in the long-term, in the short-term, they are scary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, God forbid, what if your child does have a serious reaction to the vaccine, or develop a neurological disorder like autism, regardless of the cause?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can only imagine the heartache and pain that any parent dealing with this must go through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d want to lash out, I’d want to blame the pharmaceutical companies.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">In the end, our poor little baby ended up with 4 shots--two in each arm, covered with two Mickey Mouse Band-Aids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He screamed bloody murder for about 20 seconds, nursed, went home, took an extra long nap, and woke up just fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We truly believe that vaccinations are extremely important, will follow the recommendations of the doctors, and will of course advocate that everyone else do the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But this parenting thing has really opened my eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A dogmatic perspective on science is easily trumped by my unconditional love and desire to protect this helpless baby—and a continued irrational fear of shots.</div>Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-66928267641211386392011-08-28T13:12:00.000-07:002011-08-28T19:39:22.467-07:00Letter to my son on his first birthday<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Today is Jack’s first birthday, and so I’m going to write him a letter. So this post is more for him and me than for all of you out there in the blogosphere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But Jack and I would be delighted if you’re interested in reading it as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least I hope Jack doesn’t mind everyone else reading his letter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s a bit too young to protest now, but I can imagine a 16 year-old Jack surfing the web with his friends when they stumble the archives of this blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kind of like when we were kids and your mom would pull out the old photos of you and your brother in the bath together when your football buddies came over to the house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or, when she showed photos from the time you got dressed up in women’s clothing, makeup and high heels to your homecoming date.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not cool, Mom, not cool.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">This letter comes a bit later than it was supposed to, and I have to give credit before I get started; writing a letter to Jack wasn’t my idea initially.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jack’s mom has been suggesting that I write a letter to him for almost a year now—a sweet letter from father to son when he was born and how he’s affected my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You see, she’s always been great at dealing with ‘life’ stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Calling friends/relatives on birthdays, buying holiday gifts, doing the shopping and laundry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not that I didn’t want to be thoughtful…I just usually forgot. Too much to do, I thought. I’m too busy, I don’t need to grow up, I’m a scientist, dammit!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, being a SAHD for the past couple of months has made me start to grow up fast!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cook dinner, wash the diapers, clean the house, feed the baby, go shopping, fix up things around the house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mind you, I really suck at most of these things, but I’m trying! </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">When I do get it in my mind to do something, I take it to the extreme—hence an entire blog about the baby and fatherhood rather than a simple letter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And now, rather than writing just a letter to the 1 year-old Jack, I figured I’d go ahead and get a few other letters done as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, we’ll go in 5-year increments, and write letters to the 1, 6, 11, 16, and 21 year old Jack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here goes:</div><div style="border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-element: para-border-div; padding-bottom: 1pt; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">8/28/2011</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Dear Jack,</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Today is your first birthday and I wanted to take this moment to reflect on what having you in my life has meant to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To be honest, I was terrified to have a baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was no time for anything other than work; what was a baby going to do to my career?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, life has a funny way of throwing curve balls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First, after you came into my life, all that career stuff didn’t really seem as important as it did before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I used to scoff at people who only worked 9-5, but once you were here, 9-5 seemed like an eternity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So what if there’s more data to collect, when there’s baby to cuddle with at home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Second, some rather unfortunate circumstances lost me the job I’d been so driven to succeed in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, I was sad, but spending the time with you at home has made me realize how much more important you are than pretty much everything else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The next phase of our lives is going to see lots of change and there are many unknowns.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But as long as we have each other and your mom, that’s all we need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I love you so much little baby….and I’m so glad you’re in my life.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Happy Birthday, Love Dad</div><div style="border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-element: para-border-div; padding-bottom: 1pt; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">8/28/2016</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Dear Jackie,</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I can’t believe you’re 6-years old already.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where has the time gone?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems like just yesterday you were learning how to walk, and now you’re starting first grade. My job working from home has given me the most amazing opportunity to see you grow into a wonderful little boy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m so glad that I’ve gotten to spend so much time with you these past few years, and I’m going to miss you so much during the school day while I’m still at home doing my work and hanging out with your little sister.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that month-long trip that your mom took us on to <country-region w:st="on"><place w:st="on">India</place></country-region> this summer was amazing!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know you’re going to have a great time in Mrs. Jones’ class, and it’s great you get to be in the same class with Aiden.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t forget to use your iPad to Tweet to your class that I’m coming into class this afternoon with the healthy carrot-apple cupcakes that your mom made last night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Happy birthday Jack, I hope all of your wishes come true.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Love, Dad</div><div style="border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-element: para-border-div; padding-bottom: 1pt; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">8/28/2021</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Dear Jacko, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Wow, you’re 11!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m sorry your team lost in the finals, but I’m so proud that you made the all-star team.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>23 strike outs in a row, you were awesome!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was so wonderful that you volunteered with your mom in the city this summer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t believe what a great young person you’ve grown into. And, our bike trip through the <place w:st="on">Rockies</place> was so killer!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now you’re off to 6<sup>th</sup> grade—middle school. It’ll be a great adventure, but make sure you do your homework and deposit it on your teacher’s Facebook account before you run off to 2<sup>nd</sup> life to pretend play in the park with your friends in <country-region w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Paraguay</place></country-region>. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Your mom and I are so proud of you and love you so much, have a happy birthday!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Love, Dad</div><div style="border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-element: para-border-div; padding-bottom: 1pt; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">8/28/2026</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Hey Jack-Dude,</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Sweet 16 and never been kissed!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s what my grandma said to me on my 16<sup>th</sup>, and it was true. But not you, Jackie boy!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know you’re popular with the ladies, and already have pro scouts looking at your quarterbacking skills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only a sophomore, but the starter of the varsity team.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please remember to keep up with your studies too…your grades slipped at the end of last year and you got your first 99%.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, a football scholarship will get you into most schools, but you need to fall back on academics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your work in theoretical physics is going really well, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the folks at NASA give you a signing bonus if you skip college football and move right into space-time travel.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">You’ve become an amazing young man, and your mom and I can’t wait to see you when you get back from your trip to <country-region w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Cuba</place></country-region> re-building homes that were damaged in the Hurricane.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Happy B-day Dude, I love you,</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Dad</div><div style="border-bottom: windowtext 1pt solid; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-element: para-border-div; padding-bottom: 1pt; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .75pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-top: 0in;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">8/28/2031</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Yo Jack-man-do,</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Twenty-one and already a college graduate!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Valedictorian and captain of the football team.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have no idea where you also found the time to help repair political ties with <country-region w:st="on"><place w:st="on">China</place></country-region> and develop next generation clean fuels that not only power our flying cars but also produces pure fresh drinking water with a hint of lemon zest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A finalist for both the Nobel Peace Prize and the Nobel Prize for science in the same year; unheard of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yet, you still had time to hang out with your family in our cottage on the lake this summer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was so great to get to spend so much time with you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ve turned into such great man, and we’re so proud of you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Have a great birthday, but don’t get too sh*#-faced now that you can legally drink.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have an important meeting tomorrow morning with the president.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Love, Dad</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2G61mVV08Cc/TlqgK-2trsI/AAAAAAAAAGw/bxwP_YBrXdk/s1600/presidential.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" qaa="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2G61mVV08Cc/TlqgK-2trsI/AAAAAAAAAGw/bxwP_YBrXdk/s320/presidential.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-32515551554691318512011-08-26T14:45:00.000-07:002011-08-26T14:58:24.433-07:00Aww…look, our quadruped is becoming a biped! Or, look who’s walking now!<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Every parent wants their kid to achieve the ‘milestones’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We put so much pressure on them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Does he hold his head up yet?”; “Can she roll over yet?”; “Does he crawl?”; “Does she walk?”; “Does he talk?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Is she potty trained?” “Does he have a diversified portfolio and an IRA?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">But walking—that transition from 4 legs to 2 legs—seems to be one of the biggest milestones of early childhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we make that symbolic transition from the animal world to the human world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XNarVnUU-7k/TlgOX-s96eI/AAAAAAAAAGs/mJxzEUSKtXw/s1600/Jack+and+Gorilla.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" qaa="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XNarVnUU-7k/TlgOX-s96eI/AAAAAAAAAGs/mJxzEUSKtXw/s200/Jack+and+Gorilla.JPG" width="150" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Turns out that other than birds and dinosaurs, there are very few groups of vertebrates that habitually walk on two legs instead of four.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kangaroos, some groups of mice and rats, and people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And several other groups will walk on two legs when they really need to, like deer reaching up high for a branch that’s too high or <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSLUwmJOo_M">lizards running on water</a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">So, why have we eschewed the 4-legged world for two?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are many dozens of theories in the evolutionary literature for why humans have moved more and more towards two-legged walking even though our very closely related cousins still prefer all fours—the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipedalism#Humans">Wikipedia entry</a> on the matter is surprisingly thorough!. These theories range from the </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">‘<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquatic_ape_hypothesis">aquatic ape hypothesis’</a>, whereby our ancestors were adept waders and swimmers and this lead to our bipedalism to keep our heads above water (this hypothesis appears to be believed by about 4 people) to other more well-accepted theories, including the ‘male provisioning hypothesis’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here, the idea is that a good man goes out to hunt or gather, gets as much food as he can, and has to carry it all the way back to where his wife and kids are chilling out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember, this is before the dawn of backpacks and wheeled luggage—and certainly before the time of the stay-at-home-dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, these dudes had to carry the food home either in their hands or in their mouths.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, if you’ve ever tried to carry a big load of stuff around with you in your mouth or while crawling around on all fours, you’ll see the problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Much better to hold it and walk on your hind limbs—or legs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, there you have it, a pretty good reason to walk on two legs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To bring home the bacon (so to speak).</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Jack’s always been a bit ahead on his milestones, and we’re always so proud…as if somehow he’s smarter and more talented than the kids down the street.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Hmmmm..little Joey doesn’t crawl yet?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a shame…Might as well forget about college”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jack was well into standing and ‘cruising’ along on furniture at 8 months, and we thought he was going to take off walking soon thereafter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His mom, after all, was walking at 9 months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">So, 9 months comes and goes…still no walking.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">10 months….lots more cruising, but still not walking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Uh oh, maybe he’s not as exceptional as we thought?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">11 months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now Jack’s getting very interactive with the world around him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Much less a blob and much more a little boy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s got toys, he’s able to drink from a sippy cup, he’s got his snacks!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, he’s got to crawl around with them, which sucks if you want to be in the other room where your dad is doing cool stuff (like washing the dishes), but you want to bring your toys and snacks and sippy-cup with you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">So, here’s where I think I can really see the merit in the idea that we walk on two legs because we need to get stuff from here to there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, he’d crawl around with a toy in his mouth or hand…and it was cute, but very inefficient. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think he’s been thinking: “if I have stuff in two hands, I can bring twice as much stuff into the kitchen to play with/eat/drink”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Over the past few weeks, Jack’s determination to learn how to walk—so he can take stuff with him—has been amazing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From one or two tentative steps to full blown walking around the house in just a couple of weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have a minute, check out the videos taken of him every 4-5 days for the past few weeks.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwQjsJ9_OXOHz8krauxO4Re48dpukX8pdhIWe1rl2RMVb36rgtqpzvZ5lBKYAHviDUfvDLWs_CcaRglNDS9aA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dy8Gb8GtsLHCNAgSn_B9Can479nWW29PBNVI3pGMRS0CS1liWhg-3ycmRL0yqcsUL1TEYdg2MvC4sOA1cPLKw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxqR58FTuoww4EDK65-sR20kgA85jDrSXNxwPe-v-hIDZsrrMN_qkKJDyk8CNH6nL2P-oYV6NCKJNLzxIItFA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br />
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He’s mastered it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now he can carry his <a href="http://homewithlittlejack.blogspot.com/2011/08/are-stack-roll-cups-rubiks-cube-for.html">stacking cups</a> around the house; Now he can carry his <a href="http://homewithlittlejack.blogspot.com/2011/08/are-stack-roll-cups-rubiks-cube-for.html">baby cheetos</a> around the house; Now he is a man!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">So, there you have it….watching Jack learn to walk has given me definitive proof that humans have evolved bipedalism in order to get their stuff more easily from point A to point B.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Class dismissed.</div>Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-38877639497222442442011-08-25T15:09:00.000-07:002011-08-25T15:24:48.169-07:00Top 10 Things I Never Thought I’d Do Until I Had a Baby<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Jack’s first birthday is just a few days away, so I figured I’d take a bit of stock into what I thought I’d never do if/when I had kids that are now everyday occurrences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, just for fun, let’s do it <a href="http://www.cbs.com/late_night/late_show/">David Letterman-style</a><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">, counting backwards. </span>You know, Letterman--he’s what all us cool kids watched at Midnight when I was in college…now I’m lucky to make it past 9:15 watching DVR’d <a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/">Daily Shows</a> without falling asleep on the couch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Hmmm….this has me wondering: what are all the cool kids in college watching at midnight nowadays, anyway?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s go check over on Google and see what’s hot … OK, here it is, <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/videos">according to collegehumor.com</a>, it looks like the college kids today like to watch other kids slap each other in the face with pizza.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/_7VRjtT4sVo/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_7VRjtT4sVo&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_7VRjtT4sVo&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I’m so old.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Well, obviously, that quadruple shot of espresso I just had after I put Jack down for his afternoon nap is kicking in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, let’s get going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here is the top 10 list of things I never thought I’d do until I had a baby:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">10. Direct 95% of the conversation to be about the baby</b>. Some examples include: “you should have seen what Jack did today, it was so cute.”; “This guacamole is good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Speaking of which, did you know that Jack’s favorite food is avocado?”; “When taking the derivative of the x<sup>th </sup>integer, using a Taylor- series expansion, we can most inevitably see that Jack’s ability to walk has increased to the ¾ power over the past 4 days, supporting the general theory of network allometry.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">9.</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Use my saliva to clean off the baby’s face.</b> Yes, I know, this is an old stand-by, especially for moms, but seriously, it’s kinda nasty when you really think about it.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">8</b>. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Talk about the baby every chance I get.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wait, did I already use this one?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like to talk about the baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guess what he was doing this morning while we were at the post-office…Oh, whoops, sorry, I’ll move on.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">7. Be excited when I get to hold another baby.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I can count the number of babies on one hand that I held before we had Jack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, all I can remember was being terrified and wanting to hand it back over asap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now I love holding babies…even the ugly ones!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">6.</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Feel well-rested when I get more than 6 hours of sleep at night.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did I ever mention that Jack is a terrible sleeper?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">5. Have no qualms about rubbing anti-fungal cream and lotion onto someone else’s penis on a daily basis.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeah, ‘nough said.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">4. Experience depths of unconditional love that grow exponentially every day.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you think that’s sappy, check out one of my <a href="http://homewithlittlejack.blogspot.com/2011/08/unconditional-love-game-changers-and.html">first posts</a> on this blog from a few weeks ago. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stick my hand inside a diaper to see if there was poop.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, gross…but, in fact, I just did while putting Jack down for a nap a little while ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You see, we just got back from running errands, and he was wiped out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t want to have to change him and get him all riled up unless he pooped.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, he was laying there half-asleep, so, well… You know, let’s just forget that I told you about this one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">2. Have no jealously whatsoever by all of the attention another male is giving to my wife’s breasts.</b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">And, the number one thing I thought I’d never do until I had a baby is…..</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">1. Be-out-of-work—the career I’ve worked incessantly in for 20 years—but wake up every day feeling lucky to be able to spend the whole day with my wonderful son and excited to blog to the world (or at least about 20-30 of you) about how awesome he is.</b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in;"><br />
</div>Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-15110038161476453862011-08-24T09:50:00.000-07:002011-08-24T11:38:09.232-07:00Baby Logic and the Theory of Gravity<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">In the philosophy of science, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karl_Popper">Karl Popper</a> is often attributed to being a champion of the hypothetico-deductive method of scientific reasoning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The method goes something like this:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">Develop a null hypothesis which suggests that an action will result in no reaction</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">Develop a series of alternative hypotheses which suggest that something specific will happen as a result of the action taken</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">Test those hypotheses by taking an action</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">Revise those hypotheses based upon the results</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">Lather, rinse, and repeat the experiment</li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">But, really, isn’t this pretty much how we live our lives?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, we don’t run around discussing our rejected hypotheses, but when you think about it, we live our lives doing little science experiments all the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Modifying recipes: “I can replace the baking powder in this cake recipe with baking soda, right?”; Interacting with your spouse: “You don’t mind if I skip our anniversary to watch the playoffs with the boys do you?”; Raising your baby: “If you whine and I give you what you want, you’ll stop whining, won’t you?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each of these scenarios is a hypothesis with an associated null hypothesis that you test and continually refine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, we’re all Popperians, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seems kinda obvious when you really think about it.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Watching Jack develop from a helpless baby into a budding toddler makes it so clear how we live our lives according to the basic tenants of scientific philosophy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The difference is that babies are discovering things that us adults already know, whereas adult scientists are trying to discover things we don’t yet know. But no question about it, babies are behaving in the exact way scientists do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, if you’ve ever known a scientist, you’ll also know that scientists often act in the exact way that babies do.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Here’s an example of one of Jack’s ongoing experiments: </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">If I touch this button, the Elmo phone will say <em>“la la la la, la la la la…Elmo’s phone”</em>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I touch it again, it will say <em>“la la la la, la la la la…Elmo’s phone”</em>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, again <em>“la la la la, la la la la…Elmo’s phone”</em>. <em>“la la la la, la la la la…Elmo’s phone”;“la la la la, la la la la…Elmo’s phone”; “la la la la, la la la la…Elmo’s phone”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></em></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Any good scientist will tell you an experiment is no good if the results are not repeatable, but I sure hope the battery on that thing runs out soon….<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">But there’s another perspective on the philosophy of science that many scientists believe is more creative, is more general, and has the ability to provide bigger and better advances than the simple method described above.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Kuhn">Thomas Kuhn’s</a> “The Structure of Scientific Revolutions”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’re a Kuhnian, you’re a bit more of a risk-taker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You think science progresses by leaps and bounds rather than simple linear progression.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You think objectivity limits the potential of scientific progression.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I think Jack is more Kuhn than Popper in his approach to the science of life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the way he learns how to interact with and manipulate his surroundings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">For example, l</span>ately, Jack has been experimenting with gravity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all know about gravity, <city w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Newton</place></city> and the apple…and to show my age again, this is how folks in my generation learned about gravity</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/j8Y46S5OmGU?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">9.8 meters per second per second acceleration. Or, when translated into baby-talk, “fall and go boom”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, just as Einstein and his compatriots took Newtonian science and put it on its ear, Jack’s experiments with gravity are taking him to great new places.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">You see, a few months ago, Jack learned how to climb stairs. But he couldn’t go down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He figured if he went head first up, why not go head first down?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, that hypothesis got falsified pretty quickly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From his results, he developed a new hypothesis: “If I go down head first, I get a scraped up face” which he also tested a few times.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">A month or two later, with the help of his scientific mentors (parents), he learned that going down stairs is much more effective if you do it backwards.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">OK, now he has this new concept: <em><strong>"By going backwards, I can go down things and not get hurt."</strong></em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s been testing this hypothesis a lot on stairs and slides, but like any good follower of Kuhn, Jack’s not happy just testing and re-testing hypotheses in a linear way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He wants to apply this ‘backwards’ concept to other contexts where gravity is involved.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">So, yesterday, we’re at the playground and Jack sees an opportunity to take his science to the next level.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You see, he’s been working on some equations with the help of his mom to explore this gravity thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By incorporating relativity with string theory and worm-holes, he’s deduced that going backwards eliminates the pull of gravity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, you can only test this theory on stairs and slides for so long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Scientific revolutions require bold ‘outside-the-box’ thinking.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I know, I know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The coolest playgrounds always say that they’re designed for children 5-12 years old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, there’s no where else for a toddler to play around here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And they have great stuff to climb on and have that cool rubberized ground to run around on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So where else can a stay-at-home dad (SAHD) go when his son really needs to get out of the house?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ce2nLSbRxCQ/TlUmcLrp_eI/AAAAAAAAAGY/6Hn27jSIMPM/s1600/hole.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" qaa="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ce2nLSbRxCQ/TlUmcLrp_eI/AAAAAAAAAGY/6Hn27jSIMPM/s200/hole.JPG" width="150" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">So we’re at the playground and Jack sees the opportunity to test his ‘backwards gravity’ theory. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Sbz5fBcOpKQ/TlUmfw0m7SI/AAAAAAAAAGc/bBH-wkR4GOs/s1600/backwards+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" qaa="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Sbz5fBcOpKQ/TlUmfw0m7SI/AAAAAAAAAGc/bBH-wkR4GOs/s200/backwards+1.JPG" width="150" /></a>He approaches, redoes his calculations to adjust for wind-speed….</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Moves himself into position. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XTU4cbpboSU/TlUmi2vb4QI/AAAAAAAAAGg/SnL7OSfJjaI/s1600/backwards+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" qaa="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XTU4cbpboSU/TlUmi2vb4QI/AAAAAAAAAGg/SnL7OSfJjaI/s200/backwards+2.JPG" width="150" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">And slowly makes the backwards descent.... </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-enJxiAcK21c/TlUmlT1fSrI/AAAAAAAAAGk/QZNxdcviqVM/s1600/backwards+3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" qaa="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-enJxiAcK21c/TlUmlT1fSrI/AAAAAAAAAGk/QZNxdcviqVM/s200/backwards+3.JPG" width="150" /></a></div><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XHvdtq6VRY8/TlUmoAgoJQI/AAAAAAAAAGo/-oIVQ20Sl6A/s1600/backwards+4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" qaa="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XHvdtq6VRY8/TlUmoAgoJQI/AAAAAAAAAGo/-oIVQ20Sl6A/s200/backwards+4.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Eureka!</td></tr>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Success!!! </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>He went down and did not fall and hurt himself. His theory worked!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, while according to those boring linear Popperians who can only falsify hypotheses, not prove them, he is feeling rather confident in his theory, and is looking for new venues in which to take his backwards/wormhole/relativity/string theory of gravity to the next level.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Any advice would be more than welcome...and perhaps some ideas where we can find some grant funding for this project.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div>Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-35594637037372350372011-08-23T14:11:00.000-07:002011-08-23T14:11:15.435-07:00The 5-Second Rule Does Not Apply to Babies<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">C’mon, admit it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If no ones watching and you drop some food on the floor, I bet you eat it, don’t you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe brush it off or blow on it, or even rinse it in the sink. But, you eat it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, if it’s a particularly yummy piece of food and someone does happen to be watching, you always have the immunity provided to you by the ‘5-second rule’ (unfortunately, a recent <a href="http://scienceblogs.com/grrlscientist/2007/05/rethinking_the_fivesecond_rule.php">study on the 5-second rule</a> and lots of nerdy scientists tell us that it's not a very good rule).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">So, how many of you out there who’ve raised kids have adhered to the 5-second rule for the kids?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No lying here, I mean it, answer truthfully.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guarantee you that even the most germophobic parents (think Jack Nicholson’s character in ‘<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119822/">As Good as it Gets’</a>) let their babies eat food off the ground on occasion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, you’d never really admit it, would you? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Sure, when they’re babies, we coddle them so much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can’t let any germs get near them!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sterilize everything, pacifiers, bottles, toys, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can’t have too much hand sanitizer around the baby, wash your hands before touching them, etcetera, etcetera.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But somewhere along the way, sterile procedures sort of go out the window.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes it’s with the second or third kid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes it’s when they grow into toddlerhood and there’s simply no avoiding them putting anything not nailed down into their mouths.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">With Jack, I am somewhat reluctant to admit that we let the microbes intermingle rather early in his life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like to think he’s stronger and more fit because of it. A pacifier on the floor?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ah, that’s just more immunity for the baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Licking the handrail at the busy airport…that’s ok, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How old do you suppose that ant-covered fruit loop that he just ate under the park bench is, anyway?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Being scientists, we knew that 99.9% of microbes in the environment are harmless, and many can actually be beneficial. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, there’s a huge scientific endeavor afoot, spending millions of research dollars to explore just which and how many of those critters we have living on and in us (see the <a href="https://commonfund.nih.gov/hmp/">Human Microbiome</a> project), as well as the positive and negative effects they have on us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of the more interesting results from this research suggest that the bacteria found in our guts can actually influence whether we’re skinny or fat (I’m still trying to figure out a way to market this—my latest slogan: “Poop your way to a thinner you” doesn’t quite seem to work).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do you get these bacteria in your gut you ask?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, from your mom of course, and others you live closely with...and, no, you don’t really want to know how it gets from their guts to yours.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 12pt 0in 0pt;">Anyone who’s ever been near a baby or toddler knows that anything on the floor goes right into their mouths along with the millions of microbes on that object. Toys, keys, iPhones, whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Heck, we were at the Children's zoo the other day and Jack grabbed some goat poop in the petting area…and, well, you get the picture. The hand sanitizer that they had provided for kids to wash the goat microbes off didn’t really seem all that relevant for our particular situation.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 12pt 0in 0pt;">So, if the baby is allowed to put everything else in his mouth that was on the floor, isn’t it OK if the baby also puts food in his mouth from the floor?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all know they do it all the time, so why are we embarrassed by it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why do we hide our behavior from other parents and our friends? Why don’t we just embrace it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-L45miJlbh1E/TlQU5pr57pI/AAAAAAAAAGQ/homnapt9wpE/s1600/cup.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" qaa="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-L45miJlbh1E/TlQU5pr57pI/AAAAAAAAAGQ/homnapt9wpE/s200/cup.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Snack Trap"</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">The ground is the natural foraging habitat of a toddler. They sit there on the ground playing with their toys and you hand them their favorite snack (see <a href="http://homewithlittlejack.blogspot.com/2011/08/science-of-baby-snacks.html">yesterday’s post</a> to see exactly what the best snack ever is). What are they going to do with it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Throw it on the ground and then eat at their leisure, of course.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, some parents try bowls and plates and other 'civilized' things--they even make all sorts of contraptions like the ‘snack trap’ that someone got us at one of our baby showers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the kids don’t eat it out of the bowl or trap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They toss it on the ground, play with it, and then eat it...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I say we should shed our inhibitions and let the toddlers eat from the floor without shame. That’s what we do at home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I’m going to come out here start an advocacy group to abolish the 5-second rule for toddlers. No need to hide anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s cut out the middle-man and simply put the food right on the ground for the kid to eat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dz2pbdVJvOJK3n8tFJamOs5vg7pL3-pmqGksORTt215NsQdj-4hhc5AM2KyEpSU8ViN7WoePoyaQjWP4T-Xvw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">So, you heard it here first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No more shame in babies eating from the floor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m going to call the group: <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>“Babies Are Certainly Tolerant of Eating Right on Interior floors and Asphalt” </u></b>(B.A.C.T.E.R.I.A.).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Look for our lobbyists in DC to play a big role in the next election!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">And finally, one of my my all-time-favorite Homer Simpson lines seems to be a fitting end to this post.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">"mmmm......Floor Pie"</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">(Disclaimer: You might want to avoid putting the food right on the dirt, and limit it to hardwood and tile floors indoors, and cement and asphalt outside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, as we discovered this morning, yogurt and macaroni and cheese are probably not good floor food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, well, maybe you can keep using high chairs for meal times and in restaurants.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, those of you with dogs might have a battle on your hands, but I’m sure you’ll figure it out)</div>Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-67569756940275317312011-08-22T13:29:00.000-07:002011-08-22T14:24:02.388-07:00The Science of Baby Snacks<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">As Jack's moving away from baby-dom and into toddlerhood, his eating habits are changing. He loves snacks!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s now able to let us know when he wants said snacks with a wonderful combination of cuteness and annoying whining.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’ll grab a bag of snacks out of his diaper bag or on the counter, and bring them over to us letting us know he’s hungry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or, he’ll just sit there and whine until we figure out what he wants.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s recently perfected the ‘pincher’ grab, which allows him much more freedom in picking up those snacks between his thumb and fingers, and putting them into his mouth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before, it was sort of a full-hand grab and stuff, and he could really only grab big things. The pincher grab opens up a world of snacking opportunities, and boy does Jack love it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, we’re experimenting with different sorts of snacks and trying to pay attention to their nutritional quality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Most of you probably know that the all-time favorite most popular toddler snack seems to be <a href="http://www.cheerios.com/Products?WT.mc_id=Paid_Search_Brands_BG_Cheerios_Divisional&WT.srch=1">Cheerios</a>, followed closely behind by <a href="http://www.goldfishfun.com/default.aspx">Goldfish</a> (they even make whole-grain Goldfish now, so that’s good!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least that’s what 95% of the toddlers we see in the park are snacking on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But <a href="http://www.gerber.com/public/default.aspx?source=10064630&gclid=CLTq4K_a46oCFYfCKgod6AzF_A">Gerber</a> (a subsidiary of Nestle), and maker of all things baby food, is really trying to grab a piece of the toddler-snack market.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perusing through the baby isle at the grocery store, we see all of these lovely types of snacks produced by Gerber promoting “Start Healthy, Stay Healthy” and “Supports Healthy Growth and Development”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sweet, we thought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Healthy snacks!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, don’t look too closely at the ingredients.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, the ‘Yogurt Melts’ look healthy, but have sugar as the second ingredient, and the ‘Lil Crunchies’ have 50 mg of Sodium per serving!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Gerber’s snacks tell us right on the box, “as your baby grows into toddlerhood, about 25% of his calories will come from snacks”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, what are we going to do, we’re stuck with these sugary, salty snacks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s all there is, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do we raise a healthy, good-eating baby, and where can we find good snacks that he likes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, we’ve been testing out various snacks, and conducting scientific studies (we are scientists after all), and here’s what we’ve concluded:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">We started by exploring all of the various snacks on the market; those made exclusively for babies (mostly Gerber and the organic/hip baby-food companies trying to chip away at that market) and those more traditional snacky foods (e.g., Cheerios).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before Jack even got the opportunity to lend his opinion, we eliminated most of the really nasty sugary and salty things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One snack I’m ashamed to admit we tried was Gerber’s ‘meat sticks’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yep, seriously….these little sticks of meat stored in a congealed oily substance the consistency of snot. Grabbing them out of the snot felt more like baiting a fishing hook than feeding a baby, and thankfully, Jack hated them, so we never have to buy them again.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">From an array of snacks, Jack’s top four favorites seemed to be: Cheerios, Goldfish, Gerber Graduates ‘Lil Crunchers’ (Garden Tomato version)—which I’ll hereafter refer to as ‘Baby Cheetos’ (which is what they look, smell and taste like), and a darkhorse challenger ‘<a href="http://www.justtomatoes.com/jtstore/pc/Organic-Just-Peas-3p116.htm">Just Peas</a>’ freeze-dried peas (seriously, he loves them! And so does his mom) that we found in the produce aisle at <a href="http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/">Whole Foods</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Weeks of preliminary data suggested that while Goldfish and Cheerios make great snacks, especially when on the go, the Baby Cheetos and Just Peas seem to be the two favorites.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Today, I decided to do the definitive test to see which was the best baby snack:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oEyUEin6Ow0/TlK2r8Z2dzI/AAAAAAAAAGM/TBl3guNxzs4/s1600/choose+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" qaa="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oEyUEin6Ow0/TlK2r8Z2dzI/AAAAAAAAAGM/TBl3guNxzs4/s200/choose+2.JPG" width="150" /></a>In this corner, we have the good-for-you-wholesome snacks made with pure peas, and nothing else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No Genetic modifications and Organic--which is good because we don’t want Jack to become a mutant and grow a tail or destroy the city with his fire breath!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just Peas….yaaahhhahhahhh</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">And, in this corner, we have the cheesy, salty goodness of mass-produced, melt-in-your-mouth, genetically modified corn and salt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Boooooooo…..</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">(as an aside, any of you familiar with experimental design for diet choice will quickly recognize that an experiment replicated, no matter how many times, on only one baby is limited.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, because Jack is the best baby in the world, I feel justified in claiming that whichever snack is favored is by definition the best baby-snack in the world).</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">We start with a warm-up of some baby-food from a jar, just to take the edge of hunger off, to cleanse the palette, and then get down to some real snacking.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Feeding Trial #1.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An equal volume of Baby Cheetos and Just Peas were put on each side of the tray and the baby was watched to observe preference and record any other behavior.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Winner, Just Peas</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Feeding Trial # 2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Same as above, but the locations of the snacks were switched to make sure there wasn’t any favoritism for right or left side.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Winner, Baby Cheetos</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">And, this was repeated 8 more times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Below are images from one such feeding trial where the results were rather easily discerned:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2 seconds into the trial</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NmInnTwfoo4/TlK11Ze1tSI/AAAAAAAAAGA/6TZmJ4g0lWQ/s1600/grab+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" qaa="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NmInnTwfoo4/TlK11Ze1tSI/AAAAAAAAAGA/6TZmJ4g0lWQ/s200/grab+2.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">5 seconds into the trial</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EcVrM2hyoV8/TlK14Lgnu9I/AAAAAAAAAGE/blQ4apxggMc/s1600/eat+4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" qaa="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EcVrM2hyoV8/TlK14Lgnu9I/AAAAAAAAAGE/blQ4apxggMc/s200/eat+4.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">20 seconds into trial</td></tr>
</tbody></table>The final tally was 2 for Just Peas, 8 for Baby Cheetos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Using a standard Chi-square test (with an null expectation of equal preference), we get a chi-squared value of 3.6 with 1 degree of freedom, indicating that there is a 95% probability that Jack—and thus all snacking babies—significantly prefer Baby Cheetos over Just Peas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, there you have it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Forget organic hippie foods, and put all your money in Corn futures and Nestle stock…this is gonna be big!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">With any scientific study, it is the prerogative of the author to speculate a bit why as to why the observed results may have occurred.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this case, why do babies prefer the salty corny goodness of processed food over the plain and boring freeze-dried peas?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it’s an innate behavior preserved in our genetic material over the ages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s evolution, plain and simple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Human and <a href="http://www.cheetos.com/">Cheeto</a>. </span>We’ve co-evolved with these cheesy snacks for millennia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From the first humans hunting cheesy snacks on the African Savannah to modern times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Using both fossil and genetic evidence, I’ve depicted how this long-standing relationship betwen hunter and hunted likely looked in the below illustration.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lgZbCSKlx4k/TlK2WRu_KkI/AAAAAAAAAGI/lHOGFT376Xo/s1600/cheeto.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" qaa="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lgZbCSKlx4k/TlK2WRu_KkI/AAAAAAAAAGI/lHOGFT376Xo/s320/cheeto.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-73783600969198352402011-08-21T13:17:00.000-07:002011-08-22T13:31:16.713-07:00Traveling Coast-to-Coast with Mr. Barfo and the Baby-Backpack<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">As I’ve mentioned previously, our family tries hard to live a sustainablitarian life-style.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know, eat/shop locally, walk instead of drive, recycle, use <a href="http://homewithlittlejack.blogspot.com/2011/08/cloth-or-disposable-solving-great.html">cloth diapers</a>, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately, one part of our lives has had a huge non-sustainablitarian aspect: airline travel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you go onto any of the websites that help you calculate your carbon footprint (for example, the <a href="http://www.nature.org/greenliving/carboncalculator/index.htm">Nature Conservancy</a> has a good one), you’ll quickly see that no matter how insulated your house is or how little you drive, if you fly a lot, your carbon footprint will go through the roof.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Not even a year-old yet, and Jack has a huge carbon footprint!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s not yet traveled internationally (though that’s been discussed), but he’s probably been on a plane at least once a month since he was 4 months old (sometimes 2-3 times a month).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s been to California, South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, Illinois, Missouri, Michigan, Minnesota, Georgia, New York, Florida and New Jersey so far (several of those places, more than once), and that doesn’t count the 6 other states he visited while he was in the womb. So, we’re well-seasoned baby-travelers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-X-7fapW78Ts/TlFhgWSmZ8I/AAAAAAAAAFk/gF7ZIemAaRM/s1600/West+Coast+Baby.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="131" qaa="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-X-7fapW78Ts/TlFhgWSmZ8I/AAAAAAAAAFk/gF7ZIemAaRM/s200/West+Coast+Baby.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">West Coast Baby</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IyqN95cF3Lc/TlFlJkpFa-I/AAAAAAAAAFo/77DDgnTQJ-I/s1600/East+Coast+Baby.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="148" qaa="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IyqN95cF3Lc/TlFlJkpFa-I/AAAAAAAAAFo/77DDgnTQJ-I/s200/East+Coast+Baby.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">East Coast Baby</td></tr>
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">When we traveled before Jack came into our lives, it used to be us, our laptops, and some clothes—no need for bag checking and a zip through the airport in no time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now that Jack’s in our lives, the stuff that we have to take along with us has more than quadrupled:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a bunch of cloth diapers, baby food, utensils, Jack’s clothes, a car seat, and tons of other random stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I believe we travel much better with a baby than most, and I’ll now share two of our secrets:<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MZx7n5xfI8Q/TlFhFLmHqZI/AAAAAAAAAFc/ijriNdSmk6c/s1600/baby+backpack.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" qaa="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MZx7n5xfI8Q/TlFhFLmHqZI/AAAAAAAAAFc/ijriNdSmk6c/s200/baby+backpack.JPG" width="150" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1)<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>The baby backpack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve already mentioned that when Jack was little, we were <a href="http://homewithlittlejack.blogspot.com/2011/08/co-sleeping-dad-napping-and-almighty.html">attached through the Baby Bjorn</a> much of the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This also made travel much easier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hands free to get the laptops out of their cases and through security; to put the luggage up in the overhead bins, and to read while he slept.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once he outgrew the Baby Bjorn, we moved on to the next best thing—the baby backpack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It amazes me how many families we see at the airport struggling to push around strollers, gate checking them, waiting for them after arrival. The baby backpack is awesome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can zoom right through security.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Grab a bite or a coffee, board the plane and get your luggage stowed, all while Jack just rides along up high, checking everyone out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, then, the backpack folds up nicely and stows right in the overhead with your luggage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love the backpack so much, that I often use it instead of a stroller at home or when away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jack loves it too.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rKYyoihy_iE/TlFhOPAFpkI/AAAAAAAAAFg/lcqm0beWPZY/s1600/Mr+Barfo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" qaa="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rKYyoihy_iE/TlFhOPAFpkI/AAAAAAAAAFg/lcqm0beWPZY/s400/Mr+Barfo.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mr. Barfo (Patent Pending)</td></tr>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2)<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>Mr. Barfo. Every time we board a plane, people look terrified.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Please don’t sit next to me, please don’t sit next to me, please don’t sit next to me!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know, because I always used to be that guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They always ask: “his first time flying?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Nope, we do it all the time”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have it down to a science: get him onboard, have plenty of snacks on hand, breastfeed at takeoff, and nap on the flight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People always remark he’s the best flying baby they’ve ever seen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not a peep. Smiles at everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Naps well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We sometimes bring a few toys along, but in a pinch, pretty much anything can be a toy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One time, we were flying, and the toys were stuck crammed under the seat, and we were jammed in there so tight we couldn’t get to them when Jack got a bit fussy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was grabbing at the complimentary magazines in the seatback pocket…and then pulled out the barf bag.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, a minute later, a bit of scribbling with a pen, and we had the best toy ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mr. Barfo!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mr. Barfo kept Jack entertained for at least an hour before he took a nap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, he makes a guest appearance every time we fly, much to Jack’s delight!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div> <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VYwK2UF9b0E/TlFoX6-VzoI/AAAAAAAAAFw/rran2SONi7w/s1600/Jack+with+Barfo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" qaa="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VYwK2UF9b0E/TlFoX6-VzoI/AAAAAAAAAFw/rran2SONi7w/s200/Jack+with+Barfo.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jack with Barfo on a plane</td></tr>
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">A couple of other random thoughts for those of you readers out there who happen to design airports (I know you’re out there!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Go check out the <city w:st="on"><place w:st="on">San Francisco</place></city> airport…the most family friendly airport we’ve encountered yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Airports with ‘Family Assist’ Restrooms Rock!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not just some little pullout changing station right next to the stalls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But an actual room that is closeable with a changing area, toilet, and other luxuries.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems like only about 50% of airports have these, but they are so useful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, a note to the childless guy who once used one of these before us to take a giant dump: Not cool, dude, not cool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The <city w:st="on"><place w:st="on">San Francisco</place></city> family assist restrooms even have toys and other stuff for the baby to play with in there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another thing that <city w:st="on"><place w:st="on">San Francisco</place></city> has that seems to be lacking at many other big airports is an awesome play area for babies and kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had a 2-hour delay, but it seemed like minutes with that play area…check out Jack playing with some older kids at the ‘Tornado’ making machine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How sweet is that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WKnoN8W9h34/TlFmPV8nM-I/AAAAAAAAAFs/OioFMudqGjA/s1600/SFO.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="cssfloat: left; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" qaa="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WKnoN8W9h34/TlFmPV8nM-I/AAAAAAAAAFs/OioFMudqGjA/s200/SFO.JPG" width="150" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</div>Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-18774852208560145052011-08-20T12:02:00.000-07:002011-08-22T03:18:28.165-07:00Raising a Baby in the Age of Google<div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">We were watching the <a href="http://www.colbertnation.com/">Colbert Report</a> the other day, and he did a story on how the internet was changing the way we remember things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You see, there’s no point in remembering stuff that we know we can find again on the web.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Makes sense, our brains don’t need to be filled with all of that useless knowledge anymore and they can focus on more important things….like, well…you know, stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="http://www.google.com/">Google</a> is always there; even when on the road, as long as you can get 3G.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Before Google…heck even before the ancient outdated thing called <a href="http://www.yahoo.com/">Yahoo</a>, there were these things called ‘books’ (kinda like e-books, but they’re printed on this weird tree-derived parchment).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was 10 when my younger brother was born, and so I got to see a tiny bit of what it was like to raise a baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mom swore by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_Spock">Dr. Spock’s ‘Baby and Child Care’</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a classic dog-eared copy that she had when she raised me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, Dr. Spock’s book was first published in 1946 and has eight editions, the last of which was published in 2004.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was the ‘baby raising bible’ to generations of parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Has anyone under 35 even heard of Dr. Spock?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, no, not that dude with the pointy ears on <a href="http://www.startrek.com/">Star Trek</a>, which is what I thought when I was 10.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How could a Vulcan know how to raise human babies, anyhow?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have no emotions.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WSIQmLHxnNM/TlAD9VrMlTI/AAAAAAAAAFY/4x-2nh-pP-0/s1600/Google.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" qaa="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WSIQmLHxnNM/TlAD9VrMlTI/AAAAAAAAAFY/4x-2nh-pP-0/s200/Google.jpg" width="200" /></a>Nowadays, there are other books that seem to be quite popular amongst the parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our favorites are the ‘<a href="http://www.whattoexpect.com/what-to-expect/landing-page.aspx">What to Expect</a>’ books (What to Expect When You’re Expecting; What to Expect the First Year; etc). They’re great for those of us from the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MTV_Generation">MTV generation</a> who need our information presented in quick and manageable nuggets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But 9 times out of 10, whenever I have a question about the baby, I go first to the source of all knowledge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The knower of all that is known.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The almighty Google!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Take this morning, for instance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jack is almost one year-old, and one happens to be the age that magical things instantaneously happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of a sudden, they can drink cow’s milk. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now their carseat can be turned to face forward. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> T</span>hey can eat eggs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We got to thinking: "why couldn’t he have eggs before?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We vaguely remember our pediatrician saying something about egg whites being the problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were actually making egg whites for breakfast (it’s healthier for us), so could we make up the yolks for him? He’s supposed to be eating all of this good fat anyway for his brain and nerve development (at least that's what Google told me). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><a name='more'></a><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">So, I jump on Google, and in 0.9 seconds, I have 4,230,000 results at my figure tips.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, only the first couple of pages of a Google search are ever read, and in this case, I had everything I needed in the first 5 entries.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Egg whites are one of the top food allergens, and so avoiding them avoids the possible risk of a young baby having an allergic reaction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Egg yolks are fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> So, there ya go....</span>But wait!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even among the first 5 sites that came up in this search, there was a discrepancy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems sometime around 2008, a new study came out that discovered that the risks of allergic reactions to egg whites are really not that high, and it’s just fine to feed babies both egg whites and egg yolks after about 6 months of age (unless there’s a family history of egg allergies).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of the websites in my Google search were made before 2008, and they said avoid egg whites.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Others were more recent, and thus had more up-to-date information, but were actually lower in the search.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, this is explicitly part of Google’s search algorithms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Older articles have more links and back-links, and are thus more authoritative according to the Google-Gods.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To hell with recent research when there’s history on our side!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If procedures akin to Google’s search algorithms were used in medical science, we’d still be blood letting with leeches and performing lobotomies for mental issues.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">This got me thinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a scientist, I know some sources are more reputable than others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, my wife was just talking about how hard it is to get her students to realize that not all information in Google is equal, and in fact, some is much more reputable than others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In science, studies are subject to peer review before being published, and public scrutiny once published.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The good stuff rises and the bad stuff falls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it’s not always clear in a Google search what gets you to the top of a list and how reputable the information is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do people learn how to sort it all out?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Does placement in the search engine automatically mean a better source?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, Google’s search engines are good, and are always trying for improvements to filter out the 'wheat from the chaff', so to speak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, Google’s search engines can’t really discern what is good information, and what is bad information that happens to be popular.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I’ve tried to dive into this Blogging world, I’ve learned a ton about how people try to use the search engines to their advantage. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before last week, I never even heard of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Search_engine_optimization">SEO</a> (Search Engine Optimization) and back-linking, but now I know that understanding and using SEO to your advantage will win you fame and fortune.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least, that’s what the 146,000,000 websites on a Google search about SEO try tell me (so long as I buy their e-book).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It really seems like keywords and placement are more important than information content to many internet writers trying to make a buck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s all about getting top ranks in a Google search.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, you can see this when you do any sort search.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, when I do a Google search to figure out something about Jack (e.g., why does his pee smell so bad?), many top results come from reputable parenting and medical websites.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, there’s always some other random stuff mixed in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, it’s never clear who’s really writing it, and where the information comes from.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Don’t get me wrong, Google is still my knower all of things important.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The answer to every one of my questions. From now on, though, as I look to <a href="http://ecologist.hubpages.com/hub/Online-Research-Using-Google-Does-SEO-and-High-Page-Rank-Equal-Better-Information">Google for parenting advice or any other research topic</a>, I’m going to pay closer attention to the websites where the information comes from. Just because a site shows up high on a Google search does not necessarily mean it's the best information available.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Google and the internet make life much easier in some ways, but perhaps parenting was a bit more straightforward when all you had to do was open up your trusted Dr. Spock’s ‘Baby and Child Care’ to solve any parenting question.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Live long and prosper.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.startrek.com/legacy_media/images/200307/spock01/320x240.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" qaa="true" src="http://www.startrek.com/legacy_media/images/200307/spock01/320x240.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div>Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-25531277074146271992011-08-19T12:52:00.000-07:002011-08-20T14:57:06.672-07:00Our First Playdate is Today!!<div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">As I’ve mentioned here before, I’ve always been a very one-dimensional person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From the time I was 20, it was all about work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Driven by a single goal to be the best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No time for vacations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No time for goofing off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No time for friends, unless of course, they’re work ‘friends’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gotta work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I dunno, because that’s what I do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s who I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, who am I now that I don’t work and I’m a stay-at-home dad (SAHD) to Jack?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I guess that’s what I’m trying to figure out...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Although we’ve lived in this town for many years, all of our friends are work friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, now that I’m not working, those friends are mostly gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People move around in our field.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few years in undergraduate, then move.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Off to graduate school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Move again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do a postdoc or two, move a couple more times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Start a job, move again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Get a better job, move again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><state w:st="on">California</state>, <state w:st="on">Florida</state>, <state w:st="on">Montana</state>, <state w:st="on">Hawaii</state>, <state w:st="on">Illinois</state>, <state w:st="on">Michigan</state>, <state w:st="on">Pennsylvania</state>, <state w:st="on">Missouri</state>, <state w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Utah</place></state>…where am I from, anyway?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s easy to not make deep friendships or keep up with your family with this lifestyle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I used to scoff at people who never really moved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stayed within miles of where they grew up, hung out with their high school friends, had dinner several times a week with their parents and other family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those people weren’t serious about their careers, I thought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How can you find family and friends more important than work?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Work is life, and you have to live where the work is best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a fool I was!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now that Jack’s in our lives, my wife and I look at people who live in the same town with their families with envy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How I wish we could just hang out with parents, brothers, nephews, aunts, cousins without taking a plane.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Friends outside of work?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do you even go about meeting them?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I guess you would meet folks if you had hobbies, but we’ve already covered that, haven’t we.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My hobby was to work. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Now, Jack’s been with other kids on occasion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s hung out with them at the gym daycare for an hour or so; with an acquaintance or two with young kids; or, when grabbing other kids’ hair or stealing their toys at the park.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, we don’t really know many people with kids Jack’s age.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, until I became a SAHD, the nanny spent as much non-sleeping time with Jack as we did, so we wanted our family time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Life is very different now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We want to hang out with people who are experiencing the same things we are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We want Jack to have friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> We want friends! </span>How do we find them?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><a name='more'></a><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><a href="http://images.picturesdepot.com/photo/a/about_a_boy-207639.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" qaa="true" src="http://images.picturesdepot.com/photo/a/about_a_boy-207639.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone says: “find a playgroup”. Uh, sure…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do I find a playgroup?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I joined about 6 such groups a few weeks ago on <a href="http://meetup.com/">meetup.com</a>, but thus far, the activity level is nearly 0.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes we meet people at the park and have a nice conversation, but never have the guts to ask for their number or make a playdate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus, being a SAHD--an older one at that (see my <a href="http://www.penguin.co.uk/static/cs/uk/0/minisites/nickhornby/index.html">post</a> about growing up in the 1980s) usually with messed up hair (what’s left of it) and baby food on my non-matching clothes—it’s a bit awkward talking with the (mostly) young and very stylish moms at the park...they might get the wrong idea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know, like Hugh Grant’s character in <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0276751/">About a Boy</a><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">--which was a great book by <a href="http://www.penguin.co.uk/static/cs/uk/0/minisites/nickhornby/index.html">Nick Hornby</a> before it became a movie. </span>This is harder than real dating! </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GxV7f-oeBck/Tk66hBgpPqI/AAAAAAAAAEw/LbA4TxqdN3Y/s1600/playdate2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" qaa="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GxV7f-oeBck/Tk66hBgpPqI/AAAAAAAAAEw/LbA4TxqdN3Y/s320/playdate2.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Yesterday, late in the afternoon, Jack started getting really cranky.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His mom was feeling down, and so I took him out for some fresh air in his new wagon to give her some space and Jack some outside time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We decided to go a different way than we usually go, and 2 blocks from the house in a grassy park, we see some folks hanging around with some babies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, Jack jumped out of his wagon, and went racing over to them (well, sort of a wobbling bear-crawl/walk mixture).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought it was so cute, he was going to play with these other kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, not so much. He was after the cool car/wagon-thing the other kid had lost interest in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After getting his head stuck under the steering wheel, Jack jumped in and had a blast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got to talking with the parents, and it turns out they all just moved to town and didn’t know many people either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, they did know there are like 3 other kids Jack’s age on the block.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seriously, could this be true?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People around here with kids Jack’s age, but with few friends/family in town?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s not blow this one Jackie-boy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s reel ‘em in and get some friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know, I’ve never really done it.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Well, we already had a few strikes on us: First, Jack was covered in the avocado he had just eaten (one of the <a href="http://ecologist.hubpages.com/hub/Avocado-The-perfect-baby-food">best baby foods ever</a>) and had no pants on (see my <a href="http://homewithlittlejack.blogspot.com/2011/08/cloth-or-disposable-solving-great.html">post</a> about the awesomeness of wearing Bum Genius diapers).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was similarly bedraggled (well, I did have pants on); being a SAHD can wreak havoc on your personal hygiene if you’re not careful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Second, these looked like pretty cool and hip parents who were at least 10 years my junior. Third, I’ve never been a good conversationalist, and I am still getting used to my new identity of being a SAHD, which is difficult to talk about when you used to identify yourself only through your work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">After 45 minutes of babies romping around and parents chatting, Jack had charmed them enough, and I didn’t botch it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They invited us over to the park again this afternoon for a happy hour/playdate!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Four kids and Eight adults.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Crawling around in the grass for the kids and beer for the adults!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wahoo….we’re in! </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Man, this is really harder than dating! I sure hope we don’t blow it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hmmmm…maybe I should give Jack a bath and find some pants for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, perhaps take a shower myself?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div>Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-11677568779163404522011-08-18T18:22:00.000-07:002011-08-20T14:56:32.693-07:00Are Stack & Roll Cups the Rubik’s Cube for Babies?<div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">The 1980s were my formidable years. I became a teenager, graduated from high school, and started college in that decade.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are many silly things that we did in the 80s, like wearing a single silver glove, parachute pants, and very fluffy hair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, what I remember perhaps most vividly was just how much time the entire nation spent fiddling with a colorful but exceptionally vexing little cube measuring 2 ¼ inches per side.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, the <a href="http://www.rubiks.com/">Rubik’s </a>cube: 54 soul-crushing squares of red, yellow, white, blue, green, and orange.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><br />
<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/61/Rubiks_cube_solved.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; height: 189px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; width: 201px;"><img border="0" height="200" qaa="true" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/61/Rubiks_cube_solved.jpg" width="200" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">The amount of time, energy, and intellect that went into trying to manipulate those evil little squares into some semblance of structure created global chaos, leading to the recession, the Falklands crisis, and the Iran Hostages, to name a few.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We nearly lost the cold war because of the Rubik’s cube.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I probably spent the better part of an entire year trying to get from 2 sides to 3 sides….but every time I moved one square, another one moved out of place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just a few more moves….arrgghh!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>30 years later, I’m still pissed at that horrible cube!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><a href="http://www.fisher-price.com/img/product_shots/K7166-brilliant-basics-stack-and-roll-cups-b-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" qaa="true" src="http://www.fisher-price.com/img/product_shots/K7166-brilliant-basics-stack-and-roll-cups-b-2.jpg" width="200" /></a>What’s all of this have to do with Jack, you ask?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, a few months ago my dad and step-mom came to town to visit us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jack was around 8 months old, and had pretty much outgrown his ‘baby’ toys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know, the cutesy little rattles and blinky things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was ready for a toy that would challenge his cunning smarts and laser-like focus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, gramps and grams are perusing the toy aisle in Target and stumble upon what seems to be <a href="http://ecologist.hubpages.com/hub/Best-Toys-for-8-12-month-old-babies">among the best baby toys known to man</a> (or at least the best baby toy known to Jack)—the <a href="http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2341&e=detail&pcat=bubrilliant&pid=38607">Fisher-Price Brilliant Basics Stack & Roll Cups</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They had no idea at the time, but for $10.99, they had purchased several months of a little baby’s happiness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><a name='more'></a><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-apa-f-9lJ8U/Tk20rRBoHwI/AAAAAAAAAEs/URWPrhcjhlQ/s1600/cups.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" qaa="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-apa-f-9lJ8U/Tk20rRBoHwI/AAAAAAAAAEs/URWPrhcjhlQ/s320/cups.JPG" width="238" /></a>He just sits there in the corner, stacking and unstacking them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stacking and unstacking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stacking and unstacking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s just like us bigger kids did with the Rubik’s cube.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s trying to solve it, can’t quite figure it out, but can’t stop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, this little toy doesn’t stop there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unlike the Rubik’s Cube, which had two purposes—to play with and to chuck as far as you could into the lake when you could take no more—this toy has lots of other uses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he’s done stacking, he makes them into balls and rolls them around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, he stands up and bangs them on the TV stand, scraping them back-and-forth to make a sound reminiscent of fingernails on a chalkboard (a sound that might otherwise go extinct as chalkboards go the way of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commodore_64">Commodore 64</a>).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, he crawls around for awhile with a couple of the cups in his hands like little suction cups, and starts all over again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s happy playing by himself or with his mom (me, not so much) for hours every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwmr_0a75P0egrp0VTrPf96AcNz3dBuhr1HoIeYmjUDAaDebCPc8vMfdtx5mQWRonzD4iMamuR-0KhBjLhIGQ' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">As his one-year birthday is approaching, we’re already starting to get gifts in the mail from relatives from far away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He already loves his new wagon and no doubt he’ll find tons of amusement in many other toys as he gets older.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just as most of us grew out of the Rubik’s Cube, Jack will probably one day move on from those colorful stacking cups.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, those cups are one of the few toys I’d like to put away into a ‘time capsule’ that will well-encapsulate this phase of Jack’s life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other items in that capsule will be the subjects of future posts (hint: there will be lots of snacks in there! And the gown he wore home from the hospital).</div><br />
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</div>Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-22340713277430882612011-08-17T09:44:00.000-07:002011-08-20T14:55:55.565-07:00Where did our helpless little baby go? And, where did this little boy come from?When Jack was born, I got very sick of every other parent in the world giving us one piece of advice. “enjoy it, it goes fast”; “they grow up so quickly”; “It seems like just yesterday mine were babies, and now they’re teenagers”. Jeeze, I get it, time flies, they grow up, yada yada. Hmmm…I hear a song starting up in my head… <br />
<br />
"Is this the little girl I carried? <br />
Is this the little boy at play?<br />
<br />
I don't remember growing older<br />
When did they?<br />
<br />
When did she get to be a beauty?<br />
When did he grow to be so tall?<br />
<br />
Wasn't it yesterday<br />
When they were small?<br />
<br />
Sunrise, sunset<br />
Sunrise, sunset"<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/nLLEBAQLZ3Q" width="425"></iframe><br />
<br />
(yes, my mom made us watch <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067093/">Fiddler on the Roof </a>like 354 times). Watch out, I might soon jump into the chorus of "<a href="http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/fiddlerontheroof/ifiwerearichman.htm">If I were a Rich Man</a>" (da da da da da da…da da da da da da dum)<br />
<br />
Jack was great when he was tiny, don’t get me wrong, but he was so helpless. He could barely move, let alone communicate in anyway. I was ready for him to take on a bit more independence. Or at least be able to sleep (see <a href="http://homewithlittlejack.blogspot.com/2011/08/co-sleeping-dad-napping-and-almighty.html">yesterday’s </a>post) or play by himself for a few minutes. <br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">We were so proud when he could crawl…way earlier than other babies his age!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a genius…OK, great, now what’s next?</div><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Now, he’s starting to walk and pretty soon, he’ll be off to college (or so it would appear given what he's after in this video).</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">As his one-year birthday is fast-approaching, we are organizing all of the pictures and videos we took of him (the majority on our trusty <a href="http://www.apple.com/iphone/">iPhones</a>!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over coffee this morning, my wife and I looked at each other and asked where the time has gone?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know, it’s not even been a year yet. I can’t imagine what we’ll be saying in 16 years when he has a silly teenage mustache and is heading out on a date (or, if he’s anything like I was, heading out to…well, no where).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Where has our helpless sweet baby gone, and where did this adorable but destructive and very opinionated (nearly) toddler come from?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Weren’t you just starting on solid foods a few months ago, and now you’re wolfing down <a href="http://www.cheerios.com/">Cheerios</a> and hunks of cheese like there’s no tomorrow?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wasn’t it just a bit ago when you could barely crawl?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, you’re careening down stairs and climbing into cupboards.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where did our baby go, and who replaced him with this little boy?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Although being a stay-at-home-dad was certainly not planned, the last couple of months have been amazing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s changing so much every day, I feel that in some weird way, I am lucky to be here to see it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To see all of the changes he’s going through on a minute-by-minute basis, not just for a couple of hours in the morning and evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When first steps turn into running.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he starts playing catch with the ball.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he goes over to his new wagon to tell me he wants to go outside. When he pulls off his diaper to show me that he took a giant dump.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">It’s not surprising that this is about the age that parents starting thinking about a second (or third, fourth….etc) child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To experience that feeling all over again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t get me wrong, Jack is getting more and more awesome every day…but, we do long a bit for the helpless little baby he used to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I gotta go now, Jack just woke up from his nap, and is asking for the car keys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><br />
<iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=widgetsamazon-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B000RPCK2E&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-31901291317932406702011-08-16T12:14:00.000-07:002011-08-20T14:55:25.962-07:00Co-sleeping, Dad-Napping, and the Almighty Baby-BjornMy initial bonds with Jack formed while he was sleeping. He refused to sleep anywhere but directly on or adjacent to his mom or me (or the occasional grandparent); his basinet and crib laid empty for the first 5 months of his life. Makes sense, of course, having spent the first 9 months of his life swimming around in a vat of intra-uterine happiness, listening to his mom’s heartbeat all day long.<br />
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At night, he slept with us in bed (the hippies call it <a href="http://www.cosleeping.org/">co-sleeping</a>). We’d take turns, I’d have him in the crook of my arm until he got fussy, and then my wife would put him on her breast and they’d (restlessly) sleep together until he got handed back over to my side of the bed. Sometimes, when he was really fussy, I’d take him down and sleep with him on the couch or basement to give his mom a bit more time for sleep. <br />
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Interesting, though, how co-sleeping seems to be a bit taboo. In fact, we were embarrassed to tell our family and friends, because we thought they’d think we were bad parents. Our friends babies were sleeping through the night in their cribs right away, and our little guy was the most spoiled sleeper ever! Wasn’t co-sleeping unsafe? What if you crush your baby? Turns out that co-sleeping is actually pretty common, and was pretty much the norm until relatively recently in human history. And, we felt that it was safe and quite frankly, much easier than getting out of bed every 30 minutes to deal with a crying baby. Funny, once we got comfortable enough with it to tell other people, we found out that we weren’t the only ones. There are lots of closet co-sleepers out there!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gJ_gGKLeQlM/Tkq-PxW9fBI/AAAAAAAAAD8/xl247pb_9uI/s1600/Jack%2Bsleep%2Bcropped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gJ_gGKLeQlM/Tkq-PxW9fBI/AAAAAAAAAD8/xl247pb_9uI/s200/Jack%2Bsleep%2Bcropped.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>During the day, Jack had one of two favored nap spots. First, he liked to nap on me while I was laying on the couch. Thank goodness for the <a href="http://www.apple.com/iphone/">iPhone </a>and <a href="http://www.rovio.com/index.php?page=angry-birds">Angry Birds</a>, or I’d have never made it through the boredom of hours of being a human mattress. Second, when I wanted to get some work done, he napped in the Baby Bjorn. In fact, anytime he got fussy, and we knew it was time for a nap, I’d throw him in the <a href="http://www.babybjorn.com/">Baby Bjorn</a>, do some work around the house, and he was asleep instantly. This allowed me to get a bit of work done at the computer, rather than shooting birds at towers of rock and wood to smash some snide green pigs.<br />
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<iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=widgetsamazon-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B000CGX7WU&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>Man that Baby Bjorn was a life saver! Ours was actually a hand-me-down from my sister-in-law. Probably the most useful gift we ever got. We did everything with that Baby Bjorn. We danced at a wedding, took 4 am walks on the beach, and went to meeting after meeting after meeting. Jack would wake up, look around for awhile, and go back to sleep. What a life! <br />
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A particularly memorable incident with the Baby Bjorn involved us walking up-and-down a very hip street in a very hip town in southern California. The movie <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1119646/">‘The Hangover’</a> had come out about a year prior, which starred a baby wearing sunglasses in a Baby Bjorn. There were all sorts of t-shirts depicting this baby in the store windows, and here Jack and I were walking down the street. I probably heard 154 people say “man, you look just like that movie”; they all seemed surprised to see that Jack was real, and not just a decal on a t-shirt. And, being the most adorable baby in the world, Jack was getting tons of attention. <br />
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<iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=widgetsamazon-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B0036UXRV0&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>So, there we were we strutting our stuff down the main drag on a Saturday afternoon, having just picked up Jack’s mom from a workshop she was in. Jack had actually not been feeling very well because I had to feed him some formula while his mom was working, and it wasn’t agreeing with him. The streets were hopping with all sorts of young folks trying to be seen. A couple of young women were cooing over Jack and exclaimed “oh, it’s just like that movie” when projectile spit-up of <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070047/">Excorcist </a>quality came flying out. I guess Jack was pretty sick of all of the movie comments too…<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B9e8xkzBWlw/Tkq-1HJsjiI/AAAAAAAAAEE/ebm_de13GHo/s1600/Jack%2Bcrib.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B9e8xkzBWlw/Tkq-1HJsjiI/AAAAAAAAAEE/ebm_de13GHo/s200/Jack%2Bcrib.JPG" width="200" /></a></div><br />
Back to napping: As I said, Jack didn’t sleep by himself until he was nearly 5 months old (you’ll see a photo of his very first nap in the crib to the right). It was frustrating, never having a moment to yourself, and we were so happy to have him sleeping 4, 5, 6 hours or even longer by himself. But, whenever times were tough, and Jack was having trouble taking a nap or sleeping at night, I could grab him, lie on the couch with the TV or my iPhone and have him napping in minutes. <br />
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Over the past couple of months, Jack’s sleeping habits have changed. He’s sleeping like a real baby, 8-9 hours at night and two good naps (in his crib) during the day. But I have to admit that even though his nap time is pretty much the only time I have to write this blog (and get anything else done), sometimes I long for the days of having a sweet little baby sleeping in the crook of my arm. About the same time Jack started to really sleep better, my life took a rather difficult turn; I lost my job and I became an instant stay-at-home-dad. One day, Jack was having some trouble napping and I thought I’d take him downstairs for some baby-cuddling sleep time. It would do good for him sleeping, and for me in dealing with my troubles, I thought. But he just cried louder, until I put him back down in his crib. I guess he no longer needs his Dad-mattress, even if his Dad-mattress sometimes needs him. Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-32405156477935291952011-08-15T13:17:00.000-07:002011-08-20T14:54:54.394-07:00A boy? What do we do with a boy?<iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=widgetsamazon-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B000AAAWEO&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>Let me preface this post with a bit of history. My mom had three boys. When we were little, she used to let our hair grow long and she put <a href="http://www.sun-in.com/">Sun-In </a>hair lightener in our hair during the summer so that it’d be blond. I remember the day when we were in line at the grocery store when a nice lady said: “what cute little girls you have”. That was the last time we let our hair get that long. The point is, my mom wanted a daughter. She didn’t get one. My older brother had three boys, and my younger brother had a boy too. So she hasn’t yet gotten a grand-daughter. When we announced we were having a little one, I think pretty much everyone in the family wanted a girl. My wife and I certainly thought we did. Although it was still hard for me to believe I was actually going to be a father, I knew I wanted a daughter. A little girl I could watch over and protect. <br />
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I knew what little boys were like. I was one of them, after all. I couldn’t be a parent to one of them. Little boys are nuts. For example, Jack and I were just at the park a few minutes ago watching a bunch of crazy 3-7 year-old boys run around the splash fountain. Run, slip, cry, hit, kick, make pretend pee, fart, yell, pull down pants, cry, hit, kick, throw stuff at parents, pretend to poop, climb up pole, fall, bleed, and start it all over again. <br />
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It’s amazing males of our species make it through this life stage. Some of my most vivid memories of childhood involve my brother and I doing rather crazy things. <br />
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“That slide over there seems like a great way to get on top of the garage.” <br />
“I know, let’s jump off of the garage and onto the trampoline so that we can dunk the basketball.”<br />
“Yeah, that’s a great idea!” <br />
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“Did you hear they found a piece of a human heart back there in the woods?”<br />
“Let’s go find it and poke it!” <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cG3gCRQNf1o/Tkl9Ft_sgsI/AAAAAAAAADs/ZEqU56Li1Ws/s1600/girl.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cG3gCRQNf1o/Tkl9Ft_sgsI/AAAAAAAAADs/ZEqU56Li1Ws/s200/girl.JPG" width="149" /></a></div>“It’d be fun to chase the other kids around the house with this handful of sharp darts” <br />
“Arrrggghhh”<br />
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My wife felt similarly. Not so much terror about being on a first name basis with the folks at the front desk of the emergency room. She wanted a sweet little girl she could read <a href="http://www.anneofgreengables.com/">Anne of Green Gables </a>with (I never even heard of that book); dress in cute little dresses; grow into an adorable young woman. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-keT9ju6T_oM/Tkl8yr2eAGI/AAAAAAAAADc/f01xlK2IkR0/s1600/slide.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-keT9ju6T_oM/Tkl8yr2eAGI/AAAAAAAAADc/f01xlK2IkR0/s200/slide.JPG" width="150" /></a></div>At the 20 week ultrasound, we went in for the big view. We were both convinced we were having a girl. When the technician told us we were having a boy, we were happy…no question…he was healthy. Had all his fingers and toes and such. But, both of us had a twinge of regret. What do we do with a boy? <br />
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Well, after nearly a year, we both agree that we love having a boy! Sure, a girl would have been great too (and who knows what the future holds). This little boy is the light of our lives. His smile, his bright eyes, his great personality. But I know that just under the surface of this cherub-like little baby, his Y-Chromosome is brewing up some crazy stuff for him to get into. It’ll be a very interesting ride!<br />
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Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-80063666943970180572011-08-14T11:55:00.000-07:002011-08-20T14:54:29.996-07:00Cloth or Disposable? Solving the Great Diaper Dilemma (or, Bum Genius Cloth Diapers Rock!)Only shallow-thinking sissies who hate Earth use disposable diapers. O.K., that’s a bit overblown. In fact, before we started down this whole baby-raising path, I was all for disposable diapers. They seemed so easy and convenient. Yes, I’m supposed to be a ‘green-thinking’ <b><i>sustainablitarian</i></b>(Yep, there's that word again. Maybe it’ll catch on). Yes, I’m supposed to recycle, not waste water, bike instead of drive, etc. But, secretly, I’ve been a lazy sustainablitarian. I talk the talk, but haven’t always walked the walk. Just ask my wife about how many times she’s had to tell me to close the refrigerator when I’m there caught in an A.D.D. moment. And man, before Jack came along, when she was out of town, the AC was cranked way down, lights were left on all over the house, cloth bags were never taking to the market, and bottled water was consumed (flown in from Fiji, no less!). I didn’t mean to be so evil towards the planet; I’m just kinda thoughtless sometimes. My heart’s in the right place, even if my consumerism sometimes gets the best of me. Really, I even voted for <a href="http://www.algore.com/">Al Gore </a>over <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Jackson">Jesse Jackson </a>in the primaries the very first time I could vote primarily because of his stand on the environment (and that actually remains the only time I ever voted in the primaries; anyone wanna guess how old I am?). And, I promise, I’m working hard to be a better sustainablitarian every day.<br />
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So, what’s this all have to do with babies and diapers? Well, before Jack was born, some friends of ours who had just had a baby girl asked us what we were going to do about diapers. Hmm, not something I had really thought much about. Go to the store, buy some Pampers, baby poops, throw them out. Pretty simple, right? Nope, they had chosen the cloth diaper way. When she heard that, my wife, being a highly disciplined sustainablitarian, was all over it and we drove way out to the suburbs to a cloth diaper store. Seriously, a cloth diaper store called <a href="http://www.cottonbabies.com/">Cotton Babies</a>? How hippie can you get? We go in, and a nice lady tells us about all of the different diapering systems. My head is spinning. Not only was this baby a reality on the way very soon, but now I have to learn about diapering systems? I want simple. I want Huggies made from crude oil straight from the war-torn middle-east and endangered trees from the Amazon. I want to throw them and the poop within them into landfills that used to be vast open prairies. I want the American Dream of never having to wash a diaper! But, I can’t say this in the company of all of these sustainablitarians, so I nod my head and try to vaguely listen as the helpful diaper-store clerk drones on for 30 minutes about inserts, ammonia-neutralizing sprays, and fitting systems.<br />
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In the end, we chose the <a href="http://www.bumgenius.com/">Bum Genius </a>All-in-One. All of those types with inserts, covers, etcetera seemed too complicated. I frankly can’t remember which version it was--the 2.0, 3.0, or whatever. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jRf67JCnjyg/TkgWN77kkjI/AAAAAAAAACM/ONLxzyVfvak/s1600/Diaper%2B1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jRf67JCnjyg/TkgWN77kkjI/AAAAAAAAACM/ONLxzyVfvak/s200/Diaper%2B1.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>Hopefully, they’ll skip the Vista version, and move right on to 7. While we were there, our friends sold back some diapers that their daughter had outgrown, and bought some used ones (there’s a market for used diapers?). They even had several colors to choose from, and I recall feigning interest in getting a few different colors—light green (they call it ‘Grasshopper’, which you'll see a 4 month-old Jack sporting in the picture to the left), blue (‘Twilight’), light yellow (‘Butternut’)….no pink (‘Blossom’), dammit! But, not too many, I hoped. At $12 a piece, those things are expensive! Get 20 of ‘em, which will get us through a only a few days, and you’re talking big bucks!<br />
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I secretly hoped this would not last. That my wife would eventually give in, and join the disposable diaper masses. It was going to suck, washing poop and pee all of the time. And, they were going to be a pain to change, carry around while we’re traveling, etc. I even convinced her to buy a disposable diaper can as well, for when we needed it (we had gotten some disposables from a baby shower). That can—which cost like $39—was used twice and is now in the basement.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_9dshvfhuaA/TkgWU80FVMI/AAAAAAAAACU/CU5BR_CeULk/s1600/Diaper%2B2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_9dshvfhuaA/TkgWU80FVMI/AAAAAAAAACU/CU5BR_CeULk/s200/Diaper%2B2.JPG" width="150" /></a></div>Well, you can guess where there is all going. I freakin’ love Bum Genius! These are the best diapers ever. So easy to change, so easy to wash, so fashionable! And, absolutely no need for all of those inserts, covers, etc. Just one piece, Velcro it on, baby takes a dump, and it goes in the wash. In the early days, when Jack’s poop was just that runny milk-poop (you parents out there know what I mean), we just tossed ‘em right in the washer. Once the poops became more ‘adult’ like, we just flick ‘em in the toilet, and toss the diaper in the washer—no worse than a skid-mark on the diaper. And, best yet, now that I’m a stay-at-home-dad, sometimes we go entire days without putting on any clothes other than the diaper. They really do look good. And, certainly, no need for pants unless we're going somewhere really nice! Unfortunately, as I recently found out, that rule does not also apply to me.<br />
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<a href="http://gan.doubleclick.net/gan_click?lid=41000000024590281&pubid=21000000000392206">Diapers.com -- New Green Baby section</a><br />
In addition to being much better for the planet, I really do think it’s as easy as disposables, if not easier in some ways (less shopping, less taking out the garbage). And, no question they're cheaper. Jack’s nearly a year-old and we’ve gone through 3 sizes. So, we’ve spent probably $600-700 on the diapers themselves, and maybe another $100 in water, electricity, and detergent for washing. A quick <a href="http://www.google.com/">Google </a>search tells me that disposables can run $1500-$2500 a year. And, the cloth diapers generally aren’t any less convenient than disposables. In fact, the only time we find them slightly inconvenient is when we travel. We have to bring a bigger suitcase to fit all of the diapers in, and sometimes on the way home, we have to bring home a sack of dirty diapers (I feel sorry for the TSA agents who’ve had to inspect our luggage!). <br />
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No safety pins, no cleaning service. We are totally <a href="http://www.bumgenius.com/">Bum Genius </a>shills. Sure, every once in awhile, some pseudo-sustainablitarian asks about all of the water used to wash cloth diapers. Of course, nothing has zero impact on the environment, but I guarantee you that the water used in washing these diapers a couple of times a week is still a bunch less than the water used in the production of a weeks worth of disposables. Everyone we know who’s having a baby gets the lecture. We even gave Jack’s hand-me-down diapers that he outgrew to his little cousin. Who knew used diapers are a great baby shower gift?<br />
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And, you get to save the rainforests and reduce your <a href="http://www.carbonfootprint.com/">carbon footprint</a> to boot! Now that’s good sustainablitarianism….Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-42449758929793066902011-08-13T07:18:00.000-07:002011-08-20T14:54:01.646-07:00Our little bundle of joy is here: OMG what do we do now?Nearly one year ago, Jack entered my life (he had already entered his mom’s life 9 months earlier, but I had been in a bit of denial until that very moment). Twelve hours of labor and an hour or so of pushing (I just held her leg and tried not to faint), and there he was. Jack was now a real person, a tiny little fragile thing. But, he was actually cute. Most babies at this stage are pretty gross, I think. They’re all squished and slimy. But, Jack was rocking and ready to go. The doctors did all of their tests, and were pretty amazed by how robust he was (nearly 9 pounds and full of vigor). They gave him 9 out of 10 on his tests, saying that hated to give 10s even though he was pretty much as close as they’ve seen. Wow, our baby is already excelling! Let’s apply for early decision at <a href="http://www.harvard.edu/">Harvard</a>! <br />
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Then, we move upstairs, and they actually give us this little creature, tell us what to do, and leave us alone? What, seriously…we have to watch this little guy now? Isn’t there someone who’s going to stick around and help? Sure, he’s cute and was fun to hold for a bit, but really, he’s with us now? What do we do? Jack was a mess that first night. Crying and wanting to breastfeed all night long (this actually became a bit of a theme throughout his first year). The lactation nurse told us to let him latch on and feed whenever he wanted—he needed the comfort. Eventually, I took him and let him sleep on me in the chair in the corner of the room. It worked, and that was the start of a long haul where 99% of Jack’s sleep took place on top of a human mattress, day and night. I think his bassinet got used for all of 5 minutes total.<br />
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Over the course of those couple days in the hospital, we started to realize that life was gonna be very different. We had no idea what to do with this creature, but they kept giving him to us and leaving. We both cried when they took him off to get circumcised—being scientists, we of course did tons of research on this, and concluded that it didn’t really seem necessary, but we had them do it anyway. Then, when he came back all bloody and gross, we were horrified, what have we done? Every decision we make is going to influence this little dude forever…what kind of pressure is that? Luckily, my parents helped out those first few weeks, and we started to figure it out. Actually got the hang of it a bit. Eating, sleeping, pooping…well, that’s pretty much all he did for those first few weeks (not so much for us on the sleeping part).<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1GCJ5ks8gGk/TkaHcXuAy1I/AAAAAAAAABk/h4tUb-F1eDk/s1600/Jack%2BWilliam%2BChase.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1GCJ5ks8gGk/TkaHcXuAy1I/AAAAAAAAABk/h4tUb-F1eDk/s320/Jack%2BWilliam%2BChase.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><br />
Jack was still mostly just a blob. But, he was already on his way to being the best baby that ever was. He could pretty much hold his head up and look around in those first few days. Everyone thought he was pretty exceptional (even his pediatrician, who does not mince words). Sure, some types of baby birds are actually up and running around following their parents right out of the egg; but for a rather helpless human who would’ve been quickly devoured by any scavenger if he were not for the constant protection of his parents, Jack was pretty OK. Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4926125996049069279.post-745109613362197932011-08-12T08:11:00.000-07:002011-08-20T14:51:38.975-07:00Unconditional love, game-changers, and other clichés about having kids: They’re all true.<iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=widgetsamazon-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0761148574&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>This blog is about Jack, I promise. But, to get started down the path, it’s probably useful to know a bit about where I was in my head when he entered my life. When Jack’s mom said she wanted to have a baby a few years ago, I was terrified. I was happy being a D.I.N.K. (double-income, no kids)—or at least thought I was happy. I never said I didn’t want kids, but they didn’t really fit into my one-dimensional plans. All I wanted to do was work and follow my single passion for gaining knowledge. Sure, I was delighted to be married and to share my life with my wife, but she’s career driven too (the same type of career, it turns out), and so I didn’t really have to change my lifestyle that much. But kids? Not being able to work 60 hour weeks, go hang out with friends over a beer and talk about work, or jet off to some cool location--related to work of course--on a whim. Now that’s terrifying!<br />
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I never really knew what to do with kids. Babies? Tiny lizard-like creatures who are so delicate you never now how to hold them. Toddlers? Whiny tantrum throwers who are cute only ~5% of the time. Several years ago, my wife and I once babysat for probably the sweetest 2 year-old boy ever. And, we had no idea what to do—luckily, he walked us through his bedtime, and we made it out safely. But, us as parents? That one-night babysitting gig was really our only experience with little kids over the past decade. Older kids? Well, now they’re getting more reasonable, and bit more interesting. At least you can show them how cool frogs are, or discuss big issues of the day like the latest iPhone games. But they’re not really good colleagues, are they? They certainly can’t discuss differential equations or philosophies of science in any meaningful way (believe me, I’ve tried). Why would I want one of those myself? <br />
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Plus, I always rationalized to myself that being a good environmentalist—perhaps we could call it a Sustainablitarian?—means recognizing that the number one environmental problem on the planet is that there are too many people. Sure, people can solve problems too, but seriously, disease, famine, war, climate change, poverty, the Tea Party…all unnatural disasters caused by <a href="http://populationproblem.org/">human overpopulation</a>. <br />
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One of my favorite movie scenes, and overall favorite movie premises, is from the movie <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/">Idiocracy</a>. Unfortunately, despite a brilliant satirical premise, much the movie itself kinda sucked. But the opening scene was awesome! It started out showing two couples in contemporary times. One an intellectual couple who kept waiting and waiting to have kids. The other, a typical ‘reality show’ couple who popped out baby after baby after baby (think <a href="http://www.mtv.com/">MTVs </a>16 and pregnant and Teen Mom). Thus, in the next generation, the genes of the more fecund (MTV) couple will be passed on to the next generation many more times than the genes of the less fecund (lets call them <a href="http://www.npr.org/">NPR</a>) couple. And so on. Ever notice how many teenagers on 16 and pregnant have mothers who are in their 30s? Do the math. Anyway, any good Darwin-thumping intellectual will tell you where this will lead. Idiocracy took us to one such possibility through time travel to the future, showing us the outrageous trajectory we could be heading towards. I won’t give away the whole story, but suffice to say the president of the U.S. being a retired pro-wrestler might not be that far off. <br />
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My wife and I loved the premise of this movie, and certainly fancied ourselves much like the NPR couple. Career first, kids…maybe later. So, when she hit me with “I think it’s time to have a baby”, I freaked out. It wasn’t time yet. She was only in her mid 30s, plenty of time left, right. Later? But, I went along for it—I loved her, and I would do this for her. But I was terrified to lose what I thought was my perfect life (yes, seriously, I thought working 60 hours a week was pretty perfect…crazy, I know).<br />
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I had 9 months to psych myself up for it once the reality of the pregnancy was there. And, I really worked hard at it. Read about it, thought about it, helped get the nursery ready, took notes on who got us what at baby showers. Downloaded apps for my <a href="http://www.apple.com/iphone/">iPhone </a>so we could read about his development. Read the book, 'What to expect when you're expecting', which is a great book, but not really geared to us men. But, I still wasn’t sure whether I was excited or just terrified. Really, a baby? What do you do with those? The ultrasounds told us he was there and healthy, but still very surreal. <br />
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I was still not sure what this would do to my life, and more importantly, how I was going to be able to keep up the pace of my career. Most people work around the house (nesting) when a baby is on the way. Not me, my main goal before the baby came was to get a bunch of work done. I worked harder than I had worked in years, terrified at the hit my career would take when this little helpless lizard-like creature entered our lives. Not that we needed to work as hard as we did (we had the luxury of very flexible careers), but that I couldn’t think of any other way to live; it’s all I knew.<br />
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I was so sick of all of the clichés everyone told me when they found out Jack was on the way. “You’ll experience depths of love that you never knew you had”; “It’s like falling in love with your wife all over again, with out all of the dating”; “Blah, blah…”. Sure, I knew I’d love Jack…as much as you can love a helpless lizard-like creature who cries and poops. But, seriously? That much love for this little blob?<br />
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And, then, the day came. Jack was taking his own sweet time, and getting very very large, and so our doctor scheduled an induction. Still unsure of what was really going to happen at the end of the day, we went to the hospital that morning, my wife got Pitocin to induce the labor and an epidural to ease the pain, and we waited for 12 hours for Jack to enter our lives….which changed forever. <br />
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….And now, I can’t imagine life any other way. <br />
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<a href="http://gan.doubleclick.net/gan_click?lid=41000000024590281&pubid=21000000000392206">Diapers.com -- New Green Baby section</a>Jack's dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14690850767593669782noreply@blogger.com0